Word Of The Month

I was perusing someone's My Space comments and came across this gem. For so long I've been trying to come up with a term or word to describe that time in a woman's cycle ... Whore-monal - that time of the month when you're randy-as-fuck, filthy angry, and your mascara threatens to run dirty little rivers down your face, all at the same time.. She also forgot to mention wanting fistfuls of chocolate... Perfecto. P.S... I think I'm whore monal this week... although I haven't craved chocolate or been filthy angry...

Message Of Love

I think I've opened my own Pandora's box in regards to songs and song lines. My blog buddy, Mr Quick is going to think I am lazy and letting my writing skills go to pot but I keep finding these songs with great lyrics! I was perusing my good friend, Miss Mandy Lee's MySpace comments and Miss Melody Angel had put the words to this song on her comments list. I had forgotton what a great song this is. I bring you-the fabulous Chrissie Hynde and the Pretenders.... Now the reason we're here As man and woman Is to love each other Take care of each other When love walks in the room Everybody stand up Oh its good, good, good Like Brigitte Bardot Now look at the people In the streets, in the bars We are all of us in the gutter But some of us are looking at the stars Look 'round the room Life is unkind We fall but we keep gettin' up Over and over and over and over and over and over Me and you, every night, every day We'll be together always this way Your eyes are blue like the heavens above Talk to me darlin' with a message of love Now the reason we're here Every man, every woman Is to help each other Stand by each other When love walks in the room Everybody stand up Oh its good, good good Say I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you Talk to me darlin'

Joy To The Girl

Monday morning. Location- the office. The scene- I have just emailed some of the girls my party photos. One of the girls in the office who is also my age and single, looked over the partition and said "Gee you really like to enjoy yourself, don't you?" In which I replied with my stock standard answer; "'Ken oath I do!" Then it got me thinking- what is wrong with enjoying yourself? Isn't happiness our ultimate goal? We're always hearing 'happiness is a journey, not a destination'. It's almost as if we are meant to feel some sort of shame and disgust for being good time girls. Oh that's right! I'm meant to be in some sort of place, aren't I? At 43, I should be settled, being conservative and mellow somewhere. Is that society's way of telling me I should be staying at home alone rotting with depression? Sorry loves but that ship has sailed. I did all that crap when I was younger. You see, I have a mother who raised my sister and I to believe that a woman's life is hard and horrible. That you need to find a man, settle down and 'come down to earth'. The thing is, in the next breath, she would say how much she hated everything she was counselling us to do! My mum is a great person-don't get me wrong-but this attitude comes from an age where a woman was born to cook,clean,bear children and please your man at all costs. I guess that was mum's way of saying she wanted us to be a miserable as she was. When I was a teenager, I lived in fear of becoming that way, of believing that was my lot in life. I felt crippled by her words and actions for so long. I've got to the point now where I've said 'fuck it'- I'm going to do as I feel. I don't care if the world around me thinks I'm an eccentric freak. I am a HAPPY eccentric freak. I'm going to dress and be how I feel and think. The more I do this, the more contented and authentic I feel. As a wise person once said - "I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not." I would also rather be single for the rest of my life than make do with someone less than I deserve. I will not be put in my place,whatever or wherever that is, just because someone or something put it out there that women belong there. It doesn't sound fun to me, silence and obedience. Well behaved girls rarely make history (Audrey Hepburn was the exception to the rule). I may get old as in age but I will never get old in my way of thinking. Wise perhaps but never old. I never want to have that condescending attitude that young people owe me something that the elderly seem to have. I want to think of people across the board as equal and having the same needs,wants and dreams. We all want to be loved, we want the people we love to be safe and happy and we all want to live lives of peace and harmony. I may calm down somewhat, my clothing choices may be less exotic and I may cut down on my drinking but I will NEVER change or compromise myself because of 'that unwritten rule'. The more I have embraced my true self, the happier I'm becoming. If this offends anyone, quite frankly my dears... I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.

I've Got A Crush On You, Sweetie Pie

They say that in life, there's a song for every situation. This one comes to mind today. You go to my head and you linger like a haunting refrain And I find you spinning 'round in my brain Like the bubbles in a glass of champagne You go to my head like a sip of sparkling Burgundy brew And I find the very mention of you Like the kicker in a julep or two The thrill of the thought that you might give a thought to my plea Cast a spell over me Still I say to myself get a hold of yourself Can't you see that it never can be You go to my head with a smile that makes my temperature rise Like a summer with a thousand July's You intoxicate my soul with your eyes Though I'm certain that this heart of mine Hasn't a ghost of a chance in this crazy romance You go to my head...........

Fade Into You

sHope Sandoval- muy guapa mujer.. I want to hold the hand inside you

 I want to take a breath that's true

I look to you and I see nothing

I look to you to see the truth

You live your life

You go in shadows

You'll come apart and you'll go black

Some kind of night into your darkness

Colors your eyes with what's not there.

 Fade into you

Strange you never knew

Fade into you

I think it's strange you never knew

A stranger's light comes on slowly

 A stranger's heart without a home

You put your hands into your head

And then smiles cover your heart

Fade into you

Strange you never knew

Fade into you

I think it's strange you never knew

 Fade into you

Strange you never knew

Fade into you

I think it's strange you never knew

I think it's strange you never knew

Just can't get enough of this beautiful song at the moment.

Last Day of Virgo

The end of another week and I am champing at the bit for this day to end and for my weekend to begin. It's been an odd week filled with both weird and wonderful. Wednesday was fantastic. It's one of the best birthdays I've had in a long time. I spent the day having lunch at the St. Kilda sea baths with my family and Cathryn and afterwards, Cath and I drove over to spend the afternoon with Gayle,Dean,Kirra,Ollie & James. They gave me a cake - well, sticky date pudding with 3 candles on top which Ollie loved blowing out! Cath and I spent the afternoon running around after him and were exhausted by the time we climbed back in the car and went home! Bless him. I loved it at tango- having all the tangueros line up to dance 8 bars of a tango with me. I was presented with a beautiful bunch of flowers and lots of well wishes. I feel really blessed. I found out today that I didn't get that job I applied for. I don't really mind and I'm not surprised. I walked out the interview knowing I didn't have that job. Perhaps my destiny is to get off my large derriere and write that cook book. If I dare, I might win. I am sick of being in offices ,working for wankers I can't stand. I'm very tired and looking forward to stopping for a while to watch a movie and sleep in one, continuous stretch. Looks like I'll be booking that one in for next week.. Anyway, it's Friday afternoon and the work week is almost done. Off to tango tonight to look after the punters and make sure they are happy. Then, this girl can finally sleep.

Favourite Song Line

I was asked recently what my favourite line of a song was and my brain immediatly went into a spasm. As a person who views some song lyrics like bible scripture, I found this difficult to answer. However, I was listening to one of my old CD's from the mid 90's and the first line of the first song entered my head like a long, lost lover through your bedroom window... "I wanna hold the hand inside you, I want to take the breath that's true..." Sublime.. favourite song line confirmed.

Forty Something

I know I'm being a Miles Davis and blowing my own trumpet but today is my birthday.. Man, 43 - how the fuck did that happen? I was 28, sitting in a club with a cocktail and speeding my tits off and then bam! I woke up in my 40's!!! Oh shit- I think I forgot to become an adult... Still in my jim jams listening to 1970's Bowie and I have to meet my family for lunch in just over an hour. 'Scuse me- gotta reach for the polyfilla and super glue, put myself together and into el cabbage.

Dusk

Isn't it nice to re visit old music? I was listening to an old favourite from 1992- The The's 'Dusk' album. For those of you that aren't familiar with The The, it's essentially one person-Matt Johnson- and any musicians he cares to work with at the time. Dusk sounds like the result of Matt coming to a crossroads in his life and having that epiphany that we all have (or should). Every song goes through heartfelt emotions and truths. Favourite lines from different songs "How can it be/that a heart that beats/and lips that smile and eyes that cry/could ever die? "Here they come/the dogs of lust/out of my mind/and into my life" "I'm scared of the things I think of when night comes along" "Everybody knows what's going wrong with the world/but I don't even know what's going on in myself" "I'm just a slow emotional reply of somebody I used to be" "You're the strangest feeling I've ever had" "Why can't love ever touch my heart like fear does" "Save me... from myself" "Our lips touch, our limbs entwine, but the ghosts that haunt me/won't leave my mind" "If you can't change your world, change yourself/ and if you can't change yourself,change your world" "The world's too big and life's too short to be alone"

Fin De La Semana

How I adore Saturday mornings such as these where I get out of bed at 10.30 to sit around in my jarmies and sip coffee. Bliss. I have had a fuck of a week. I really really really HATE my job. If my manager Brendan slipped off the face of the earth, never to return, I would party likes it's 1969. What a fucking, useless twat he is. Not to mention the ego maniac boys' club that give you errors on your work just because they can. I hate corporations and they way they operate. They are always breeding grounds of evil. Okay, rant over. I will now focus on the positives of this week.

• James Patrick Dwyer is now part of our lives. Gayle is well and happy after feeling pretty ill throughout her pregnancy.
• Got an email from Channel Seven and Nikki & I have been invited to audition for -wait for it- Deal Or No Deal! BOO-YEAH !!! We've made a pact that we will split the five bucks either of us win if we get on.
• Got a call from my agency to say they are putting me forward for an interview that pays more. I am crossing my fingers on this one. And I'm not going to talk about it. The last job I went for, I told everyone that it was in the bag and I was moving on, only to be told it was not to be. As Ernest Hemingway once said "If you talk about it, you lose it".
• Got to go out with some good friends to a great pub last night. Had a fabulous meal,shared a few jugs of beer and danced to some thumping tunes. Got home around 12.30 and passed out in front of the telly.
• Tiki Bar tonight and looking forward to a Mai Tai with our lovely regulars.

And it's the weekend. How I love it. It's also a beautiful day. I'm going to open all the windows and doors to let the fresh air and sunshine in.

Looking forward to the coming week. It's my birthday on Wednesday. I've got the day off to have lunch with my family,then to go shopping for a new dress. I've got tango in the evening and no doubt will be spoilt by Di and Dave (when DON'T they spoil me?) and then Saturday is my birthday soiree at the Tiki Bar. Dave and Di are performing one of my favourite cabaret numbers that they do and then my Argentinean friend, Eddie and I are doing a milonga together which will be loads of fun. Admittedly, having my birthday there is a bit of a revenue raising excercise but I know everyone will love the bar. I love Di and David and I really want to see their dream succeed. They really deserve it.

Off to enjoy my weekend. Besos para todos.

How Love Tastes On Your Tongue

I was perusing someone's blog and came across this: A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year olds, "What does love mean?"The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. Billy answered in this way: "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4 How amazing is that?

The Odd Sock Part Dos

I must apologise for my 'woe is me' blog yesterday. I know I could just delete it and no one will be none the wiser but I guess I should keep it there. That's how I felt yesterday. As for eating worms, I ate vermicelli for lunch which is 'little worms' in Italian so I guess in a yummy way, I did. As for my moroseness yesterday, I think it had more to do with feeling hormonal and tired than a lonesome loser. I've been one of those for a while and it hasn't bothered me in the slightest. Shouldn't let it get to me now, should it? Funnily enough, I am wearing odd socks at the moment. I was freezing last night so I groped around my sock drawer in the dark and put on what ever I found. The result was one blue sock and a stripey one. I've chucked a sickie today. Going to enjoy this lovely, sunny day. Doing all my washing to get it clean and fresh smelling resplendant with bad telly and a few cups of coffee. Work can just fuck off today. Saw little James last night. A bit over cooked as he was 10 days overdue but very beautiful. Gayle's explanation of the birth is enough to put any woman off ever doing it... not something I'm ever going to have to contemplate seeing the reproduction factory is rusted over. Besides, anything that doesn't let you sleep in must be evil. Wonder how long it will be before Gayle starts calling J 'the little fucker'? It took less than 24 hours when she had Ollie....

He's Here!

The word is in. James Patrick Dwyer is in the house. He arrived at 9.09am, weighs in at 3.51 kilos and, according to his mother, is cute as a button. Much love to Gayle,Dean and Ollie.. Seeing my new 'nephew' tonight so hope to post some pics tomorrow. Seeing today is five years since the tragic occurances in New York, it's nice to mark a day that signifies loss and pain with new life and happiness. "Love is the answer and you know that for sure" John Winston Lennon

The Odd Sock

I think I'm having a 'nobody loves me-everybody hates me... I'm gonna eat some worms' kind of day. Seems all my girlfriends are starting to pair up. Jo has just met someone of promise, Nikki seems to be going great guns with Brad, Cathryn and Steve keep going from strength to strength.. Then there's me. The odd sock. I often wonder in the scheme of things, whether it be the cosmos,the gods, God or whatever that always has me as the single odd bod. The short straw. The stale biscuit. Surely someone's karma can't be this bad?? Perhaps it's just the Mondayitis talking... as Lady Day once sang 'maybe Tuesday will be my good news day'... Bring it on

Taking A Bullet For Germaine

Poor Germaine. She's been demonised in the last day or so for daring to have an opinion about Mr Crikey. As a crusaderof the women's movement and author of the ground breaking 'The Female Eunich', she shouldn't have to take so many slings and arrows. So here's something to start a diversion from Ms Greer.. Name suggestions for your child.. If it's a boy- Ray If it's a girl- Barb The witch hunt begins .....NOW!!!

Free Speech, Accountability and Altruism- R.I.P

"These are dangerous days... To say what you feel is to dig your own grave.." These immortal words were sung by Sinead O' Connor back in 1990. Fast forward sixteen years and never a truer word was spoken. Since when did it become a crime to speak your mind and have an opinion? When did this country become so politically fucking correct? Conservatism has become a poison that is slowly killing our ability to think. Whether you think Germaine Greer is credible or not, she should be able to make a comment about Steve Irwin without being hung and quartered for it. I'm not saying what happened to the King of Crikey isn't a tragedy but let's face it, what she said isn't far off the mark. No one would have fanned a fart if she'd said something about him whilst he still had a pulse. What totally shits me is how we're made to feel like we need to apologise for everything. Like the Big Brother thing this year. Especially in regards to the Uncut show. All these parents shaking their finger at Channel 10 and getting on their moral high horse... ("what about my children? They shouldn't have to be subjected to this filth!!). Hey Mr and Mrs I Got My Panties In A Wad, I'm going to throw a few concepts your way and see what you think.

1. Freedom Of Choice. You have a thing that comes with your television called a remote control which has a few functions. One of them allows you to change the channel and another can switch it off all together. You should be asking yourself why your kids aren't in bed on a school night when it's 9.45pm.
2. Accountability. If you're worried about your kids and what they are reading,watching or listening to, perhaps you should question your parenting skills and what you're allowing your children to bring into the house. Why don't you,oh I don't know, consider sitting down with your off spring and having a rational discussion with them?
3. Getting A Fucking Life. If you are worrying about unrealistic shite like Big Brother and the no personality show ponies they have as housemates, you've got some serious fucking questions you should be asking yourselves.

Here's another thought for you... instead of getting irate about lesbo femmo pinko commos making quips about Our Stevo or your kids viewing what they've probably being doing for quite a while (get with the program- if you grew up in the 70's, you were getting fingered behind the shelter sheds at the age of 13), why don't you direct your horny young sprogs to causes like Amnesty International, Oxfam or a local environmental project? Or see what you can do in your community for the disadvantaged? Then you might be too busy thinking of others and perhaps feeling good for doing something for your fellow man instead of boring us all to death with boring cliches of everyday sensationalised bullshit...

Peace,love and tree hugging hippies xxxx

BTW if you wish to read the whole article, go here - http://www.guardian.co.uk/australia/story/0,,1865124,00.html#article_continue

The Milongita's Top Whatever of Music

Current obsessive listening of the Milongita and what's on high rotation on my MP3 player..

1. Some Velvet Morning- Nancy Sinatra & Lee Hazelwood
2. The Big Boss Groove/Shout To The Top/Walls Come Tumbling Down/Come to Milton Keanes- The Style Council
3. Dancing Barefoot- Patti Smith
4. Blitzkrieg Bop/Beat On The Brat/Sheena Is A Punk Rocker/I Just Wanna Have Something To Do/Do You Remember Rock and Roll Radio?/I Wanna Be Sedated/The KKK Took My Baby Away-The Ramones
5. Give Him the Ooh La La- Blossom Dearie
6. 24 Hour Party People- The Soundtrack
7. Pills,Thrills and Bellyaches- Happy Mondays
8. Cha Cha Cha D'Mour/Sway- Dean Martin
9. Pacific - 808 State
10. Kennedy- The Wedding Present
11. Monkey's Gone To Heaven/La La Love You- The Pixies
12. Rant In E Minor- Bill Hicks
13. A Love Supreme- John Coltrane
14. A Town Called Malice/That's Entertainment- The Jam
15. Go Slow- Julie London
16. Diamond Dogs/Ziggy Stardust/Suffragette City/Rebel Rebel- His Bowieness
17. Maggie Mae-Rod Stewart
18. Yeh Yeh- Georgie Fame
19. Give Me Just A Little More Time- Chairman Of The Board
20. It's Tricky- Run DMC
21. Dirty Boots/Kool Thing/Disappearer/Teenage Riot/100%- Sonic Youth
22. Heavenly Pop Hit/I Love My Leather Jacket/Wet Blanket/Pink Frost- The Chills
23. Salt Peanuts/Scrapple From The Apple- Charlie Parker & Dizzy Gillespie
24. All Blues- Miles Davis
25. Famous Blue Raincoat/I'm Your Man/Tower Of Song- Leonard Cohen

In Search Of A Good Retro Hairdresser

At Tiki the other Saturday, a few of us were talking about hairdressers and how no-one knows how to cut our hair the way WE want it. Miss Mandy says she hasn't entered a salon in 5 years and Joey Backstreet proclaimed that it had been 15 years since she entered one. Here in lies the problem if you don't understand where I'm coming from. You go in wanting your hair to look like this: The lovely Miss Lola Cherry Cola from Man's Ruin Burlesque... And you come out with your hair looking like this: Now, Jenn has got a decent head of hair-this is not the point we are making. The point of is: SOME OF US DO NOT WISH TO BECOME STEPFORD-ISED! The problem with hairdressing these days is they are trained in 'trends'- what's in this very minute and we are going to make everyone look the bloody same! Hairdressers who come across this page (and I doubt you will because you're too busy putting layers into girls' hair and giving guys that faux mohican look- damn you David fucking Beckham), extend your range and your talents by seeking women and men who hair dressed and/or barbered in the fifties and sixties. Little do you know, there is a demand for this type of coiffing!! One of the girls who was part of this conversation has done something about it and is currently studying hairdressing so she can give retro hairstyles for the people out there who are crying out for it! I had to coach the teenager who cut my hair last time on how to cut my fringe! So I now have a hairstyle that is a mix of the above 2... I guess it will be a work in progress but I am dreading my next visit and wondering what the fuck I will leave with.... And if you have any complaints about the gratuitous boob and bottom showing- tell someone who gives a fuck. I don't.

Please Shut The Fuck Up

Some people should come with a mute button. On Friday, I went out to the Burlesque Battle Royale 2 which I had been looking forward to for quite sometime so Miss Thing (aka Moi) dolled up and headed over to the Spanish Club for what ended up being a decidedly average evening. I didn't like the girls who won as I felt they did so using a cheap stunt. Rule number one in burlesque (according to Dita Von Teese) is; A LADY NEVER SHOWS EVERYTHING... it's all about the tease. These chicks started out fine and I give them ten outta ten for their costumes. However, one chick got her tits out,then the other girls laid her out on a massage table. One of them place what appeared to be a sheet of sand paper on her stomach and used an angle grinder to produce sparks whilst said tits were still on display. In the book of The Milongita- tacky,tacky,tacky. Mans' Ruin- you were robbed. Anyhoo, the show ended at 11pm, so I called las chicas to see if they were still downing jugs of beer at the Retreat,which, to my joy they were. So grabbed cabbage and headed to the Retreat for more beer and lots of merriment. The DJ was playing some choice tunes so also got to have a good boogie. Amongst beer and boogie-ing, I met Dick* who made it very obvious that he was interested in getting to know me in a Biblical sense. Seeing it had been a while and the hormone patrol was on overdrive, I thought "why not"? He was fun and a good kisser so once again, we grabbed el cabbage and headed back to me casa. It was all going rather well. Then he started talking... Okay, don't get me wrong. Someone telling you they think you're beautiful is lovely. However, I DO NOT NEED A RUNNING COMMENTARY WHILST SHAGGING!!! I'm there. I know what's going on!! Then he said "MM, talk dirty to me". Who does that? Unless you're filming a porno, I really don't see the point. Thankfully, Dick* wanted to leave so I found his underpants and he was away. All I could think was 'thank fuck he's gone'... no morning drivel and I don't have to make a coffee and wonder when he's going to leave. Anyway, he said he liked the Eagles. Nuff said. On a positive note, he did the job and the drought has been broken. On to better conquests. Preferably ones who do and don't say. *Name has been changed because I didn't like it.