Last Post Till Argentina

It's here.. finally! My last day at work for just over 3 weeks. I'm getting through my work, tidying my very messy desk and setting up my 'out of office' message to let the world know I'll be in Buenos Aires. So, for my grand audience of 1 or 2, this will be my last post until I reach my destination, settle in and explore the city a bit. I've decided to take my lap top with me as hand luggage, as my hostel has wi fi throughout and I can upload my pics to co-incide with my bloggage. Still much to do, last minute run arounds tomorrow and then packing. Better make sure I'm under as bloody Qantas charge you $50 for EVERY kilo you're over. Bastards. I'm both excited and nervous at the same time. I also have a hangover. I guess it should make for an interesting day.... So until then, hasta luego and I'll see you on the other side...

Pets Sounds,Brian Wilson and Moi

Monday morning and feeling a bit introspective. Woke up this morning feeling very uninspired. If it wasn't for Louie practically clawing my face to be fed, I may have made that phone call so that I could remain in bed doing nothing until midday. Decided Louie shouldn't suffer for my malaise so I got up and made a coffee after placating my cat with dead roo. I got dressed then sat down to enjoy my coffee and began thinking of everything that's going on at the moment. The panic I was feeling is beginning to subside. I'm still angry and hurt but it's simmering rather than boiling. My pot does not runneth over. I feel as if I'm glimpsing a universe that has possibilities and opportunities, rather than the usual feeling that life is against me and full of booby traps. I finally got myself out the door and strapped on the iPod for company. Flicking through the selections I settled on 'Pet Sounds' by The Beach Boys. Loving the twee beauty of 'Wouldn't It Be Nice' and 'Dont Talk-Put Your Head On My Shoulder' and the sublime 'God Only Knows', I really listened to the lyrics of 'I Know There's An Answer or Hang On To Your Ego; "I know there's an answer/I know but I have to find it for myself" Hardly a revelation I know, but it just seems fitting for my life at the moment. I know I could never compare my little life to that of Brian Wilson but I can relate to his opting out of life and just wanting to stay in his PJ's and not leaving his bed. I've spent time off work, staying in my jim jams and hardly moving off the couch due to a combination of fear and self loathing. Brian Wilson at least spent that time creating great music and it was during this time that he created the musical genius we know as the Pet Sounds album. I guess I've always hoped that someone would come along and solve all my problems for me. The older I get, the worse the problems get and it's become evident that that 'someone else' just isn't going to happen. I have a long road to travel and I'm taking no prisoners, just myself. I've set up the support system and it's all going to work out. This is my song at the moment... this song really speaks to me.. I keep looking for a place to fit Where I can speak my mind I've been trying hard to find the people That I won't leave behind They say I got brains But they ain't doing me no good I wish they could Each time things start to happen again I think I got something good goin' for myself But what goes wrong Sometimes I feel very sad Sometimes I feel very sad (Can't find nothin' I can put my heart and soul into) Sometimes I feel very sad (Can't find nothin' I can put my heart and soul into) I guess I just wasn't made for these times Every time I get the inspiration To go change things around No one wants to help me look for places Where new things might be found Where can I turn when my fair weather friends cop out What's it all about Each time things start to happen again I think I got something good goin' for myself But what goes wrong Sometimes I feel very sad Sometimes I feel very sad(Can't find nothin' I can put my heart and soul into) Sometimes I feel very sad(Can't find nothin' I can put my heart and soul into) I guess I just wasn't made for these times

She's Got A New Spell

Hey there punters.. I've had a severe case of writers block. Actually, I still do but I'm going to try and write something everyday to inspire me and get back into the rhythm of it again. In fact, this is my new attitude about things. Instead of waiting for one thing to happen so that I can do something else, I'm just going to do that thing and then get to the next. Like my idea of getting fit and achieving a fabulous pilates body and THEN getting sensational haircut. I realised that this way of thinking it fucked. I mean, why put up with bad hair whilst going through the pains in my stomach and thighs? So I took the plunge last Tuesday after work and cut all my hair off. I started pilates on Thursday so the wheels are in motion. Unfortunatly the job front has been really disappointing but I'm not beaten yet. I just need to work on that one a lot more than I have. A friend went for a job last week and I saw how much preparation she did for the interview. In the end it was a job that was all wrong for her and she didn't want but it made me think that I haven't gone about my approach for new work in the right way. Another something that MM needs to get on to. The other thing is my desire to write a book. I'm putting it off because I haven't really got anything to write it on at the moment. I'm currently using my house mate's computer as I'm not in a financial position to buy one at the moment. However, he's off to Perth for 2 weeks so I should use that time to at least start collating the recipes I want to use. After that, I just have to think about the text I wish to use such as the introduction to the book and to each chapter. It will be a lot of work but I have to at least start. All of you have to get on my back and make sure I'm doing this. I'm listening to the latest Gotan Project album called Lunatico and it is sensational. We have tickets to see their show next Sunday so that's where I'll be this time next week. Can't wait. I'll tap out a review of the show so you can read it and comment. I've hated this sabbatical from writing as I love doing it but as you can tell by my last post, I've had fuck all to write about. I guess I just need to read and listen to the world around me - it seems that's what we bloggers do, observe and comment. And that's not such a bad thing, is it?