J'Adore Eddie

I know this blog is going to be met with an 'eh???' but I have to state that I am in love (or lerve if you've seen Woody Allen's Annie Hall) with Eddie Izzard. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?

Enron-The Evilest Man in the Room

This rather tongue in cheek statement kind of says it all.. except there's a lot more to this horrible and shocking story which leaves me aghast. Here he is-Ken Lay- as promised in my anti christ blog.... The fucker died of a heart attack before the guilty verdict was laid down but justice has prevailed for the others and his evil co-horts are going to the big house for a very long time. I doubt this will be the last time evil of this magnitude will occur. I think I'd rather be poor than emotionally and morally bankrupt.

Spaced Out

If you've come across these rants, perhaps you may want to visit me at My Space..... Don't be shy... Just click on the title of this blog and it will take you there.

The Milonguita Anti Christ File

This is purely my own opinion so before you start a campaign of hate against me remember this- We're supposed to be living in a democratic society.....

The sooner David Koch's misogynistic,biased,stupid head is removed from television,the better. Mel Doyle is a stupid bimbo puppet who could not have an original thought to save herself. She drives me nuts. Ronald McDonald represents an evil that defies description. As soon as I find a pic of Ken Lay, that bastard will be on this page as well. If you don't know what I'm talking about, get thee to a video shop and rent Enron:The smartest guys in the room and discover the meaning of PURE EVIL.

Rant over... go in pieces.

Emergency Sex

A few months ago whilst on holiday, I had the privelige of reading a wonderful book called "Emergency Sex and other desperate measures". It was written by 3 people who were peace keepers for the UN. I was alerted to the existence of this book after seeing one of the author's, Dr Andrew Thomson, on Enough Rope last year. http://www.abc.net.au/tv/enoughrope/transcripts/s1336474.htm I won't ruin it for you as I think you should run out and get your hands on this book anyway you can. On a few occassions I had to put it down and sob my heart out. I thought of what I was doing at that time and realised I had slept walked through that whole era. Here people were being massacred in Bosnia and Rwanda and I was taking drugs,dancing and screwing around. Even though those people were in a hopeless situation, makes me wish I had done more to be an effectual human being. I'm not so sure joining the UN on a peace keeping mission is the best thing, but getting out there and making a difference is certainly on my mind.

The death of good telly

It finally happened last night. The final episode ever for Six Feet Under aired. I cried at the end for a few reasons: one because it was beautiful and two because I wonder if anything as quality will ever be made again. I remember when it first aired back in 2001 and I was almost screaming YES! YES! I believe! I believe! at my tv screen! I guess on the upside it means I will go to bed at 10.30 after Enough Rope (BTW it was brilliant last night- Richard E Grant is amazing) and I will perhaps spend more time at my keyboard writing my cookbook which has barely got off the ground (didn't I blog something in January in regards to this)? It also means I should watch less telly and do more in the way of reading and the afore mentioned writing. I am going to shelve Six Feet Under next to Twin Peaks, Sex and the City and Northern Exposure to complete what I believe to be amazing television. May 'reality' TV fall into a black vortex never to exist again. In the meantime, I will seek good documentaries and quality series made by the BBC. Hopefully HBO have more good works in the pipeline for us to enjoy. Remind me to buy Angels In America and Edge of Darkness! Now excuse me, I have to run off to watch Big Brother.....

A Win For All Australian Women

Australian women stood up and said no this week and our voice was heard. The strength and power of our voices was too much to ignore. Our right to choose was heard and we should be dancing in the streets. Back in 1999, a crusty conservative named Brian Harradine held the balance of power. That says a lot for someone who was a so called independant and is also a crusty old white man from Tasmania. He is also very right wing Christian. Eeek. The abortion pill, RU486 was about to be placed on the Australian market and big Brian was dead against it. Now our bushy eye browed arch nemesis, little Johnny, was having wet dreams about the sale of Telstra and they needed Brian to facilitate this. So as the sucker of Satan's cock that he is, he did a deal with Brian to block the release of RU486 in the senate so Johnny's wet dream could come true (no pun intended). Fast forward and our current health minister, Tony 'I have Satan's scaly cock down my throat 24/7' Abbott just happens to be a right wing, conservative,fundamentalist Catholic bastard. This meant as health minister, he controlled the decision on RU486. This gives you an indication of how fucked this country is. For a start, whether a drug is good or bad should NOT be in the hands of politicians!! Any drug that is to be placed on the market should ONLY be the decision of the Therapeutic Goods Association or Act and only after years of thorough research. 2. Issues involving women and what happen to them should not be decided by men and decisions should never be based on religion!! Who would have every imagined that fat moll, Amanda Vanstone, having a rational thought in that ugly melon of hers? It warmed my heart and restored my faith (for a brief moment) to see women in parliament of different parties, banding together to tell it how it is and standing up against Abbott,Howard and all the other anti Christs to say NO. As Kerry Nettle's Tee Shirt so eloquently said "Mr Abbott, get your rosaries off my ovaries!" Now these bozos all think the same thing; that women are all filthy whores who want to fuck everything that moves (hey I would if I could but there is a drought on). Abortion is a simple choice that we make every day and we have no conscience about it. The reality is, no women wants to have one but women want to know that if they need to make that choice, it's there to make and they want it done safely. What throws me in a rage is why aren't men educated in being accountable? After all, pregnancy only occurs when a man shoots his load into a woman.. which makes me think that this case has more to do with misogyny and men controlling women than anything else. Anyway, for once, sanity has ruled supreme and Abbott was stripped of his power. Even Costello came forth and admitted his wife had to make a life and death decision to abort years ago and voted for RU486 to be given to medical experts and scientists to decide. So, women of Australia- the message is this: we have power and we must band together to stand up and be counted. To tell the boys club of Canberra we do not accept their oppression of us and everything else they have done. None of us agreed on their stupid decisions. All have been made to suit their own agendas. All Australians must fight to elect a government that supports us and our needs. Viva la verdad!!!

Go Hank!!

Good to see there are people around unafraid to tell it how it is... then again, who's gonna argue with someone such as Hank Rollins?http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,18163970-13762,00.html

A Few Favourite T-Shirts

And get your conservative arse out of parliament you misogynistic, fear mongering fuckwit Me tambien!!!! I want this one!! Hey sexy hombres- get the hint!!!

Two Thousand and Sex

1. Hey wow- another friggin year has begun! So many thoughts, dreams and resolutions as we begin our adventurous trek into 12 months of unknown. Someone once asked Duke Ellington how he came up with the inspiration for his music and his response was "I have a million dreams. All I do is dream." Considering he is still noted as America's greatest composer, writing as many as 2000 songs which are still covered,performed and played to this very day, I might take my lead from Edward Kennedy Ellington and 'have a million dreams'.... the difference is, Duke wasn't a 'gunna'- he actually turned his million dreams into a million realities. Now, I wrote down a list of things I wanted to accomplish for 2005 and I only managed to make 2 of those happen. I also copied Ann's list of 'Things to do before I die' from 'My Life Without Me'. This year, I'd like to merge the 2 and entitle this 'Things to do while I'm still alive and if I don't do them, I will spiritually die' 1. Death To The Fat Moll. I weighed myself on one of those new fangled scales last week. It's official. I am a fat moll. A culmination of beer,carbs,fats and too much sitting on my arse has spiralled my weight to 80.5 kilos. As Super Nanny often says 'this is unasseptable' and this girl must do something about it-pronto. Beginning with walking to and from work regardless of weather and watching what I eat, I hope that this will be the start I need to drop off the lard. Me also thinks the gym and/or pilates should be incorporated into this plan. 2.Get outta debt. Whilst I'm confessin', my credit card has been out of control for way too long. I keep crying poor and after assessing my spending habits, I know why I am out of control. Goal. Pay off as much as I can out of my meagre wage so that by June, the balance of said card is zero. Nada. From then on, pay it off as you use it and don't let it get out of control again. Plan- as I am walking to and from work, I will not be paying fares which usually equates to $5.20 a day. I have calculated this on a yearly scale and it comes to $1352.00. I am also going to take lunch and breakfast everyday and eat dinner at home instead of eating out as much as I do. I will make a budget and stick to it. Debts must be paid. End of story. 3. Passports To Freedom. As we are all aware, Australia has turned into a right wing, white supremist, xenophobic, mega conservative hell so for that reason, me and other people in my life want to leave. I want to live somewhere with culture and where I can learn the spanish language. I guess seeing I am eligible to obtain and EU passport, Spain is probably the likely place for me to go. So, I am gathering what I need to obtain my British passport (my father/sperm provider was good for something- I just hope he isn't wanted by Scotland Yard for crimes of some description) and once I have said passport, I am planning on saving up my bikkies and taking off for Europe. I'll probably end up in jail for sedition if I stay here!! (This blog is not really helping is it)?? Anyhoo, Australia is a place I am slowly not enjoying due to bad decisions made by pollies so for that reason, I need to leave. At least Spain has siesta. 4. More horizontal tango please. Las chicas and my good self were at the pub recently sharing a bottle of good vino blanco and we were all doing toasts of the things we want to come to pass in the future. Jo Ruth Mac completed the toasts by quipping "Heres to two thousand and sex!" Which brings me to this point... 2005 SUCKED on the rutting front. Okay new year, me and the girls want passion and lots of it! Bring forth nice men to know in a biblical sense!!! Give us reasons to have faith in our male population!! Bring with it not only boonting but romance.. let us get a bit drippy and walk around in a dizzy haze with ridiculous grins on our faces... Bill Hicks wrote a song called 'Chicks Dig Jerks' but we are not such chicks. We dig guys who know what they want- we are not into 'treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen'... I do not think all men are bastards. I just think they are scared and confused. I know I appear scary but I'm not. Okay, maybe just a bit but hey, don't you find that kinda exciting....... 5. Read more,study more,see more. I have been very lazy on this front. I've realized that if I don't excercise my brain, it's going to die. I jokingly comment about myself on a regular basis that I am brain dead, but I am going to stop using this stupid excuse and start to read,study and learn. I'm sure even an old moll like me can do it... Okay spanish language, you and me are going head to head this year and I am going to win. I dream of the day when I begin a blog written entirely in Spanish... I am going to read a new book at least once a month and I am going to see more good films. I also plan to immerse myself more in jazz. Me encanta!! 6. Improve Your Surroundings. The house I live in is cool but it needs improving. A lot. I am going to begin this week by giving it a good cleaning. Then I'm going to chuck out clothes,shoes,papers,etc that I don't need anymore. Then I'm going to have a smudge ceremony and clean out the old and invite in the new good chi. I don't care if you think I'm a daft old hippy - I believe in it so therefore it works. Once we have new chi, I'm going to paint the interiors and start decorating... I'll be there for a while so we may as well make it liveable and personal. 7. Lady, start your keyboard. I have a dream - just like Martin Luther King Jnr- not to free Afro Americans from the horrible situation they were in (although it would be nice) but to write and publish my very own cookbook. So, this is something I wish to start this year. If all goes well, I could be kicking it Kylie Wong style! Hey, not too old to use a bit of homeboy speak.. Okay, me thinks that should do it!! As I said, I got a million dreams... or was that Duke? Oh well....

Ace people I love -Un

This is hero worship in no particular order so any friends that come across this and wonder where they are - do not fret. Your turn is coming.

Number one on the list happens to be none other than Mr Andy Doherty. I love Andy for so many reasons I don't know where to start. I guess, as Sister Maria once sang, at the beginning as it's a very good place to start.

I met Andy at possible one of the worst places I've ever had the misfortune to be employed by, the National Bank. We were in the same team in the call centre, copping 7 hours of abuse a day. One Thursday night, at an after works drink event, we finally got to talking and realized we had a lot in common such as our love of Jarvis Cocker, Pulp, footy and Viz magazine. After sinking several troughs of the amber ale, a friendship was thus born. That was in 1999 and from that moment on, many a good time has been had. If the walls at our favourite bar, Rue Bebelons in Little Lonsdale St could talk, it would recite a few stories. Along with all the other the other places we use to frequent like The Golden Age (sometimes also known as 'the wig and pen) when we worked together where we would nick down for a couple of pots with our 'salmonella and chips' - Andy's very spot on description of the food. They have since improved the menu but back then, I usually just ordered the chips as they were the safest bet.

There are wonderful memories of when we went to our first Meredith Music Festival together and Andy drank enough VB to kill a donkey. We lost him and then found him hours later in our tent, soaking wet because in his drunken stumbles had fallen into a horse trough. We dubbed him 'trough boy' until I found out this is a term for a gay fetish where one man lies in the urinal and other men pee on him. For those reasons we felt it best not to continue with this particular nickname. Then there was the time we went to Apollo Bay between Christmas and New Year for a few days worth of camping and of course, much beer consumption. Due to Andy having the flu, I was actually able to drink him under the table. We spent one afternoon lying on the beach reading old issues of Viz and laughing till we peed our cozzies. I'll never forget the story of the greedy vaccuum cleaner salesman who gave it all up to buy a farm and grow minges... and Biffa Bacon still rules.

Unfortunatly, we don't get to have these wonderful times very often as he now lives in Proserpine in FNQ, persuing his career as a paramedic. He hates the town but loves the work which I gues is the important thing. I keep wishing he could be here doing the same work and not just spending the days injecting junkies with Narcaine to keep the worthless sods alive to fuck someone else over. I miss you Andy and my life is forever changed knowing you are on the planet.

My Life Without Me

My Life Without Me is the the most amazing film I have seen in years. I have not been so moved by a film in a very long time. As a long time admirer of Pedro Almodovar and realizing this gift of a film was produced by his company, El Deseo, I of course had to see this. The story is about Ann who is 23, married and has two daughters. They live in a trailer in her mother's backyard. One morning whilst washing the dishes, Ann doubles over and passes out with pain. After many tests, it is confirmed she has an incurable disease and is told she has less than 3 months to live. Ann makes a decision to accept her fate and not tell anyone she is going to die. She goes to diner and makes a list entitled "Things to do before I die" which consists of the following:

1. Tell my daughters I love them several times a day
2. Find Don a new wife that the girls will like
3. Record birthday messages for the girls for every year until they're 18.
4. Go to Whale Beach together and have a big picnic
5. Smoke and drink as much as I want
6. Say what I'm thinking
7. Make love to other men to see what it's like
8. Make someone fall in love with me
9. Go and see dad in jail
10. Get some false nails (and do something with my hair)

After she makes this list, Ann discovers a life beyond the one she had been skating the surface of all her life. She has passion and strength she did not know existed within herself.

When this film ended, I sobbed uncontrollably. The first time I saw it, it wouldn't leave me. I felt that I had been marked by an incredible lover who had left me. I haven't seen a film in so long that has made me feel this emotional. The only other films I can think of that still do that to me are Like Water For Chocolate (Como agua para chocolate),Betty Blue (37 degrees le matin) and Talk To Her (Hable Con Ella).

I'm so happy that Isabel Coixet had the vision to make this film. It was adapted from a book called 'Pretending The Bed Is A Raft' by Nanci Kincaid. In the book, Ann tells her family about her illness. Isabel thought it would have more impact if she didn't tell anyone and I totally agree. One thing you love about the character of Ann is that you never feel sorry for her because she never lets you. It got me thinking if I were given the same situation, could I do the same thing? It would be nice to think you could be that selfless.

I love....

• Moments alone just being myself
• Films that make me feel emotional
• Cafe lattes in the morning
• Hot baths
• My jarmies and my bed
• Sharing beautiful food with people
• A glass or five of divine "vino tinto"
• Winning trivia
• John Coltrane
• Ella Fitzgerald
• Thelonius Sphere Monk
• Dancing with abandon
• Walking through Fitzroy Gardens in the mornings during summer and seeing the childen in total bliss in the Fairy Park
• People who have died for truth
• Osvaldo Pugliese's tango "Recuerdo"
• A spirited milonga with a fun person
• My brother Michael's amazing calm,view of life and unique personality
• My sister Vivian's strength and endurance
• Oliver Joseph Dwyer
• Ella Patricia Barker
• Grace Barker
• My friends whom are my chosen family
• My family despite our differences
• Sarah Jane Chalke Lowe- who despite everything has truly been my soul mate
• The word 'Esperanza' which means 'hope' in Spanish
• Tango - yesterday,today and forever

Los Hermanos Macana.

Gracias hermanos Macana. La manera que usted baila es un obsequio. ¡Gracias para hacer el tango australiano festival maravilloso!

Tango y Madness

At the begining of 2002, I walked into Sidewalk Tango's studio to have my first ever tango lesson. At around the same time, I had a mental breakdown and started on a course of anti depressants and psychiatry. Thus began a strange and difficult year. I remember catching up with my dear friend, Andy Doherty on the phone mid that year and when I had brought him up to speed, I finished by saying that "so far my life was only tango and madness."

Sometimes I think the 2 go hand in hand. My life now-nearly four years on- is so consumed by tango. I no longer take medication and ditched Dr Brendan long ago when I bored of talking about my mother. I now consume forward and backward ochos, voleos,ganchos and occassionally, volcados. A 3 minute spin in close embrace with a stranger is bliss (unless he has bad breath and/or BO- see blog 'If you're going to tango'). I've turned my obsession to shoes and the words 'Comme Il Fait' make me drool and hyperventilate... I look forward to March where a few of us are going to Buenos Aires, which is Mecca for tango obsessives. I dream of dancing every day, cafe con leches at Cafe Tortoni, buying a suitcase full of shoes and piropas in the street from los chicos as I walk by.

Sanity is a matter of opinion. I express my thoughts and I am deemed 'crazy'- George W Bush and Co invade countries and commit mass murder and this is deemed 'necessary'. I have decided to embrace myself and dance for the rest of my life. This is what I have control of.

Accident Waiting To Happen

Hi, Welcome to our new facist state. We have employed a top company from the US and have paid them millions of your hard earned dollars to come up with a new name for our country. It was no contest. We will shortly be known as Xenophobia. Our flag will be blood red and show an insignia of a Muslim being shot by a redneck cop in the back of the head whilst he is praying to Mecca. Aren't you glad we are protecting your freedom by interogating anyone who is a threat to our national security? What are those Muslim women hiding under those black clothes anyway? We have long suspected they are carrying Uzi's and soon we will confirm this. We know you join us will your support, you, our fellow Xenophobes, to stamp out terrorism which threatens the very fibre of this country every minute of the day. Remember, genocide, ethnic cleansing and other terms such as these are just other ways of expressing one thing- freedom. Smile, ASIO is watching. Yours, Big Brother

Epistropy

I've been listening to a lot of jazz lately. It's not that I've just discovered it or anything like that - I just can't get enough of it at the moment. My nearest and dearest bought me the Ken Burns Jazz documentary for my birthday and I watch it nearly every day. I know it makes me sound like a 5 year old with a Wiggles addiction but I can't explain it. I think I have discovered a substitute for sex - it's Wynton Marsalis' voice. Ooh mama, he makes me moist. I keep watching the part of the documentary where he discusses Thelonius Monk (hence the title of this particular blog)and plays a bit of 'Epistropy' on his horn. The little 'mmm's'between the gaps in the bridge give me the horn.. his voice is like smooth velvet cream. He's not the most visually sexy man to look at,(see picture) but that voice and the way he plays his music is worth much more. His brother, Branford, is a jazz saxophonist and he is good to look at. His voice isn't as sexual as Wynton's but he can play sax like sex. I also love what Wynton says about Miles Davis'style of playing the trumpet, how it appeals to the vunerable and solitary person inside of us all, but at the same time he swings and when that happens, it's a cocktail that is irresistible. I just thought of something I would really love - a recording Wynton Marsalis reading Anais Nin's 'Delta of Venus' - can you dig it? I am totally loving John Coltrane. What a beautiful genius that man was. I was nearly a year old when he made 'A Love Supreme' and I was nearly 4 when he died of cancer at the age of 40. Kind of makes you think of the term 'the good die young. He only recorded for 12 years and this is some of the most inspiring and amazing music I've ever heard. Coltrane's playing is as if he bore his soul for all to see. Listen to his tune 'Naima' and feel the emotion and passion in ever note and sound. I can hardly listen to it without getting tears in my eyes. There's a poster of 'Trane on my wall and I like to think he's watching over me whilst I sleep - his beautiful music the soundtrack to all my dreams......

Me amigas muy bonita!!!

In this ever changing world, one thing still plagues me- why don't men ever love you the way your girlfriends do? I know some of you are getting pervy fantasies of negligees and twin sisters kissing and starting up vibrators but this is not what I mean. Maybe it's just Australian men or maybe I'm generalizing way too much but as I've been doing my anthropological research of the el hermano casa grande (the big brother house) it's becoming evident that the divide between men and women is becoming a chasm that echos very loudly. No wonder mass murder and crime are on the rise- we are filled with lust,desire and deep passion and don't know what to do with it. The objects of our desire seem to be something we are too afraid of. Anyhoo, I'm becoming older and less tolerant of the bullshit games one must seem to have to play in order to have any interaction with menfolk that doesn't involve friendship so it turns my thoughts to las chicas- the girls in my life who make this whole existance bearable. Actually I only started this blog because I got the pic sent to me recently and I don't look half bad in it!! It also got me thinking of the fun and wonderful times we have just dancing and drinking wine and not caring a jot what anyone thinks. Female friendship is something that is difficult to describe. I know men think we are weird and alien but there in lies the challenge but it seems not many of us are brave enough to take it on. Men who come across this page (especially if you are 35+, of Latin or Central American decent and mas sexy and can dance the tango to perfection)a woman who is loud,,likes footy and beer and can talk the hind leg off a donkey is also sensitive,passionate,loving and loveable. She can also dance really well, speaks Spanish (mala) and cooks better than your mama. Embrace her strength and you might just have found the love of your life... In the meantime, Amor las amigas xx

Pin Up Girls

Is this pornography? Many right wing Christians and Family First group would be jumping up and down screaming "Yes it is! Destroy this filth!" Why don't I look at this and think that? I look at this and see a beautiful woman. Quite frankly, I love pin up girls. Not your surgically enhanced,suicide blonded, baboon-arse lipped variety of today, but wind the clock back to the 20's,30's,40's & 50's and I drool like a teething baby. It's not a sexual thing. I'm just in love with the glamour of them. Men just will never work as pin ups (exception to Jack Thompson Cleo Mag circa 1972). It the clothes, the hair,the red lipstick, the black out-lined eyes, the powder and the rouge. It's feathers,satin,high heels... It's the the way they tittilated the camera. True style unlike the crap we have today. I adore the paintings of Vargas and of course the photographs of my main girl, Betty Page. Those curves,that face,her ample breasts,her hair with the cyber fringe.. where does it end? I wear a Betty Page charm bracelet that draws many compliments, however, few know who she is. Betty Page was the classic 'cheese cake' model of the fifties. She's had more photos taken and published than Cindy Crawford and Madonna put together. Her fame was brief and low key and she now lives in obscurity and does not wish to talk about those days. Considering she's in her seventies now it's probably a good thing! I admire her for that. She had her day and when it was done, she left quietly never to return. If more people did that, the world would be a better place.. (boy bands, the Coreys and their ilk, take note). Enjoy the pic- rest assure I'll be adding more as time goes on!

Hardy Har Har

The Melbourne comedy festival is here and drawing to a close this week, so last week I thought I'd better get my sizeable arse out to see a show before I kick my myself. My friends, Bob and Ang and my good self booked some tickets to see a show called 'Saturday Afternoon Fever' by Melbourne author of same titled book, radio announcer on SEN sports radio and funny man, Matthew Hardy. I saw Matt in his show with Julie Dawn Cole who as a child played Veruca Salt in 'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory' and his show was based on his obsession of that same film and her not ever being known for anything else- very witty and entertaining. However, 'Saturday Afternoon Fever' is closer to the heart of anyone who grew up in Melbourne through the '70's & 80's and loved VFL now known as AFL. The days of Scanlan's footy cards, World of Sport with Jack Dyer, Lou Richards, Bobby Davis and Uncle Doug, the woodchop and getting cheap thrills from the 'Ripper 76' album cover. Matt talks about growing up with his parents and 2 brothers in Glen Waverley,his shithouse attempt at playing footy,Derby's night spot, Foster's flops and his undying obsession of the St Kilda footy club and Trevor Barker. Matt paints a clear picture of things we all know and recognise which allowed everyone in the audience to laugh at themselves. This is the man who flew home from London to see the Saints lose to the Crows in the 1997 Grand Final. (BTW I was living in Butt Fuck, Canada at the time and managed to watch it one night on cable at 2.30am cursing and screaming at the telly). Matthew Hardy brought back a time that reminds us of simple pleasures and how truly happy we were. I can still smell that stick of pink gum and the white dust that covered it as you pulled that wax paper to see what you had inside. I wonder if kids know that joy now? And Matt, if you ever read this, I too sometimes feel like I'm 8 sitting by the heater in my jammies watching World Of Sport....