My Life Without Me

My Life Without Me is the the most amazing film I have seen in years. I have not been so moved by a film in a very long time. As a long time admirer of Pedro Almodovar and realizing this gift of a film was produced by his company, El Deseo, I of course had to see this. The story is about Ann who is 23, married and has two daughters. They live in a trailer in her mother's backyard. One morning whilst washing the dishes, Ann doubles over and passes out with pain. After many tests, it is confirmed she has an incurable disease and is told she has less than 3 months to live. Ann makes a decision to accept her fate and not tell anyone she is going to die. She goes to diner and makes a list entitled "Things to do before I die" which consists of the following:

1. Tell my daughters I love them several times a day
2. Find Don a new wife that the girls will like
3. Record birthday messages for the girls for every year until they're 18.
4. Go to Whale Beach together and have a big picnic
5. Smoke and drink as much as I want
6. Say what I'm thinking
7. Make love to other men to see what it's like
8. Make someone fall in love with me
9. Go and see dad in jail
10. Get some false nails (and do something with my hair)

After she makes this list, Ann discovers a life beyond the one she had been skating the surface of all her life. She has passion and strength she did not know existed within herself.

When this film ended, I sobbed uncontrollably. The first time I saw it, it wouldn't leave me. I felt that I had been marked by an incredible lover who had left me. I haven't seen a film in so long that has made me feel this emotional. The only other films I can think of that still do that to me are Like Water For Chocolate (Como agua para chocolate),Betty Blue (37 degrees le matin) and Talk To Her (Hable Con Ella).

I'm so happy that Isabel Coixet had the vision to make this film. It was adapted from a book called 'Pretending The Bed Is A Raft' by Nanci Kincaid. In the book, Ann tells her family about her illness. Isabel thought it would have more impact if she didn't tell anyone and I totally agree. One thing you love about the character of Ann is that you never feel sorry for her because she never lets you. It got me thinking if I were given the same situation, could I do the same thing? It would be nice to think you could be that selfless.