The Spiegeltent

I said it 2 years ago in a post I wrote called 'Tent Life' and I'll say it again- I LOVE THE SPIEGELTENT!!!! I went to see the amazing La Clique show there last night and I felt like a child at the circus. Except a child could not view some of the things that were on offer! The night began with Camille,the torch singer,singing to the crowd to ride the carosel. Next were 2 strongmen who did amazing acrobatic lifting things dressed as dapper English gents. Very nice touch when they stripped down to Union Jack undies,sock garters and bowler hats. I'm still sweating from their perfectly toned bodies.. ooh ahhh! This is where the Milongita has to have a right old bitch. It may appear a bit lengthy but I need to give you the history if you are to understand my rant. Here's goes... Up until last year, we used to hold an annual event called the Australian Tango Festival where all teachers and tango enthusiasts around Australia were invited to come to Melbourne to be involved in 4 days of classes,workshops,milongas and all things tango. This also included bringing someone from Buenos Aires to perform in the gala and give workshops. Last year's invitees were 2 brothers, Enrique & Guillermo De Fazio who are known as Los Hermanos Macana (the brothers Macana for those not familiar with the spanish lingo). My teachers and dear friends, David and Dianne paid for their airfares and organised their visas. Once they got here, Dianne and her husband,Steve put them up in their home,fed them and drove them everywhere. They were meant to go to Perth and give workshops and when that fell through, Dianne got creative and called a friend involved with booking acts for the Spiegeltent and got them gigs at Club Spiegel. The La Clique people liked what they saw and asked if they would like to be included in the last few shows of the season which they happily agreed to. Not bad eh? Not only do you get a bit of fame and glory in one of the biggest festivals in Melbourne but you get money you thought you wouldn't be getting. Very sweet indeed me thinks. Fast forward a year later. I get a call from my friend Melanie who saw La Clique on opening night and guess who one of the acts are? None other than the Macana Brothers. Do they call Dianne and say 'hey, thanks to you, we are now officially part of La Clique and we are travelling the world! " or 'we have a tight schedule but we'd love to catch up." NOTHING!!! I cannot tolerate disloyalty or such blatent ingratitude in people and this is completely disgusting. I was going to find them and attack them last night but I decided to avoid the fuckers altogether and believe in karma. That bad karma will strike them eventually and that Dianne's good karma will come from another source. If anyone deserves to be an act in La Clique- it's her and David. Rant over. Breathe. Praise Buddha... (in with love, out with anger...) My favourite act of the night was Amy G. She first appeared as a ditzy roller skate girl who plays an electric ukeleke and sings, later as a flamenco dancer on skates. The brothers Puta Madre (as I've been calling them) interacted here, doing a bit of tango with her and that was really good. Later, she came out and gave a dialogue about being an American and then played the American national anthem on kazoo which was in her vagina! It was amazing!! I'm sure she is selective in which parts of America she does that show!!! Captain Frodo-the rubber man has to be seen to be believed. He fits his body through 2 tennis rackets and does a balancing act on a pile of tin cans. He is also unbelievably funny. The part the ladies (and gay men) love is David, the guy wearing nothing but jeans who sits in a bath of water and does a trapeze act. I think we all left needing heart medication. Let's just say, he wasn't the only one who was wet at the end of the show. I could go on and on and on about it but don't just take my word for it- sell your granny and get a fucking ticket NOW!! Now excuse me, I'm off to buy a kazoo... "Australians all let us rejoice.... "

Wicked Game

As you've gathered from posts in recent weeks, I've been relying on certain artists to get me through this thing called life. This week's support system (translation- obsession) is Mr Chris Isaak. Melody Angel and I have been leaving You Tube clips of this tube of wonderful on each other's My Space pages and it has turned the Milongita into a wobbling mass of jelly. Que rico! So I dug through the stack of CD's in my shelf and found my copy of his Wicked Game album and discovered a few things:

1. This album still stands up and sounds fresh after 16 years
2. His voice is magical
3. After much tut tutting from Cocktail Kev, I have proved that Chris Isaak IS Tiki
4. Isaak is still dead fucking hot and sexy

Above all, Wicked Game is an amazing song. From that beautiful guitar to the gorgeous lyrics it transcends you to a different place. I'm listening to it whilst writing this blog. We can even almost forgive him for using Helena Christianson in the video clip because he looks so goddamn sexy in in it himself.

The world was on fire and no one could save me but you

It's strange what desire will make foolish people do

I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you

I never dreamed I'd love somebody like you

I don't want to fall in love

No I don't want to fall in love with you

What a wicked game to play

To make me feel this way

What a wicked thing to do

To let me dream of you

What a wicked thing to say

You never felt this way

What a wicked thing to do

To make me dream of you

And I don't want to fall in love

No I don't want to fall in love with you

I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you

I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

No I don't want to fall in love

No I don't want to fall in love with you

This world is only gonna break your heart

Blue Bird

I've been thinking lately about how on a daily basis we use the term 'how are you?' when in reality, most people don't want to know how you are so we all use the 'good thanks' line even if your heart is breaking, your sanity is holding on by a thread and you feel like smashing furniture. Most people don't really want to know how you are so we all live a lie of 'good thanks' because it all makes us feel comfortable. On the other hand, being vunerable to the world is something that scares the fuck out of all of us so the 'good thanks' line is great for self preservation. I heard the following poem for the first time earlier this year and it really struck a chord with me. there's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out but I'm too tough for him, I say, stay in there, I'm not going to let anybody see you. there's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out but I pour whiskey on him and inhale cigarette smoke and the whores and the bartenders and the grocery clerks never know that he's in there. there's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out but I'm too tough for him, I say, stay down, do you want to mess me up? you want to screw up the works? you want to blow my book sales in Europe? there's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out but I'm too clever, I only let him out at night sometimes when everybody's asleep. I say, I know that you're there, so don't be sad. then I put him back,but he's singing a little in there, I haven't quite let him die and we sleep together like that with our secret pact and it's nice enough to make a man weep, but I don't weep, do you?

More Bill

'By the way, if anyone here is in advertising or marketing, kill yourself. Kill yourselves, seriously. You are the ruiner of all things good. Seriously, no, this is not a joke. “There’s gonna be a joke coming ...” There’s no fucking joke coming, you are Satan’s spawn, filling the world with bile and garbage, you are fucked and you are fucking us, kill yourselves, it’s the only way to save your fucking soul. Kill yourself, kill yourself now. Now, back to the show.’ Listen to Bill here: http://www.loveallthepeople.co.uk/mp3/loveallthepeople_marketing.mp3 For even more Bill go here http://www.loveallthepeople.co.uk/more_on_bill.html

It's Just A Ride

The hard drive on my MP player crashed a couple of weeks ago and that is a major bummer. I had all my Bill Hicks stuff on it and when I go through my black times, I usually listen to Bill to lift me out of my funk and and remind me not to take myself too seriously. I found this on the internet and hope you find it as inspiring as I do.

"As scary as the world is, and it is. It is merely a ride. In the amusement park of the universe, it is merely a ride. It has its thrills, it has its chills, it has its ups, it has its downs... the World is just a ride, and some people have known it. We think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are, but it's not, it's a ride, and some people have known it and they've come here and told us, "it's just a ride" and we have killed those people, cos we love the fucking ride. You ever notice that? We always kill the good guys and leave these demons just running amok on the planet. You ever notice that? Jesus murdered. Martin Luther King murdered. Ghandi murdered. Malcolm X murdered. Reagan wounded. But it's just a ride. And since you know it, and some people are tired of the ups and downs, and thrills and chills, and prefer instead the quiet... they have to be told it's just a ride. “- Bill Hicks (1961 - 1994)

What's A Girl To Do?

I've been listening to lots of Vince Jones this week. His 'Tell Me A Secret' album has been my best friend and comfort. One of the songs on the album is a beautiful track called 'I've Never Been In Love Before' and I realised that like Vince's tune, I haven't. I've thought about what I've been doing in my 'relationships' with men and I don't think it was love. I once wrote a blog called 'Why I Am Single' but I think it goes a lot deeper than just meeting losers and trying to have relationships with them. It really says a lot about me and the state of my psyche of how it was at the time. I made a pledge to myself to stop being interested in men who give me a nod just because they have a pulse. I decided to not let myself be abused and to demand respect. I decided to look deeper and not forgive things I hate in order not to be alone. I decided not to make myself so available, to try and leave a bit of mystery. I decided not to blame past events and experiences on people - generally they come with their own sets of problems and neurosis' so I should judge their freakishness individually. Strangly enough, since making this pledge to myself, I've been frightfully single. So single that if someone doesn't come my way soon, my next move is to purchase 2 sari's, a bucket and a one way ticket to Calcutta. My major thoughts have been regarding how one meets someone and how they go about getting them? It's not like buying an iPod or new shoes, you can't just say 'I'm going to go out and get a relationship that works this week'. If only it were that simple. My friends were talking about methods that one should employ when seeking out to procure one of the opposite sex. This made me feel rather frustrated. Why can't you just show or tell someone that you're really interested and that you like them? That you want the opportunity to go on that nerve racking,dorky feeling first date with them. That at the end of the night when it has hopefully gone really well you have the end of the night first kiss. That you want to have night's in on a Saturday, making a dinner from items bought at the market that day, sharing a bottle or three of red and watching a movie on the couch. Or weekends in shagging each other senseless? What are the stakes? Why must we play such stupid games? Maybe it's just me... perhaps nobody is in the market for a 40 something, slightly eccentric girl who is loud and a bit uncouth. I may be a bit difficult to catogorise but it doesn't mean I should be forgotton all together. Anyone out there relating to any of this? I'm just trying to have faith that there is someone out there who will scratch my surface and realise there's a lot more to me than what you see. I'm not lonely in life and I'm definatly not alone. I just think it's time to couple up. Bring it on.

Riding The Emotional Rollercoaster

Jeezy creezy what a week! Up until last night, I was ready to fly to Guyana for a Jonestown cocktail. It started last Thursday when I woke up with the mean reds and that oh too familiar case of 'everybody hates me'. Friday was of a similar vein and a quiet night at Sidewalk didn't help. I woke up on Saturday and the beautiful day made me feel better. I thought in light of this, I should do something nice for myself. I was walking past a beauty shop on my way to the market and I enquired about facial waxing prices. The prices were cheaper than my usual girl and before I could turn to leave, she said "we do for you now!" An hour later, I realised this chicky had turned me into a deformed mong. She burnt my face! I had blisters on the left side of my jaw and she had pulled skin from my chin and left eyelid. So I have been putting paw paw ointment on my face all week to attempt to heal my afflictions and thankfully this has worked. Now my face has broken out in zits and I now have a pizza face. To add to the mong factor of the same day, I also swallowed the back on my piercing... it was plastic and didn't notice I was chewing it with my food!! I've gone back to metal as a precaution. I've gone through a myriad of emotions-I've been odd sock-ish and I've definatly been whore-monal. Yesterday I even contemplated taking today off to see my doctor to ask her to medicate me to the eyeballs because I had seriously had enough. However, I woke up this morning feeling like it's a brand new day and that everything was so much better. Oh yes, THAT time o' the month (without going into too much detail) and this girl is dancing on the ceiling.. This week, I've reconnected with an old friend who's run the gamut of emotions with me. Vince Jones, you velvet smooth voiced saint... thanks for sharing this trying time with me. I don't know if I could have handled it without you crooning in my ears and carrying me through. Snaps to Blossom Dearie,Sonny Rollins, Benny Goodman,Artie Shaw,Dizzy & Bird,Billie,Ella and Louis Armstrong. See you next time for another week of homicidal rage....

I Want You To Want Me

I have literally listened to this song about 20 times in the last 2 days and can't get enough of it! I loved it when it came out in the seventies and I still love it today! I just added it as my new song to my MySpace page... I want you to want me. I need you to need me. I'd love you to love me. I'm beggin' you to beg me. I want you to want me. I need you to need me. I'd love you to love me. I'm beggin' you to beg me I'll shine up the old brown shoes, put on a brand-new shirt. I'll get home early from work if you say that you love me. Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'? Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'? Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'. Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'? You get the drift... Simple and magical. Cheap Trick- poetic genius.

My Wheat and Milk Free Life

I finally relented and have decided to listen to Aurette, my gorgeous homeopath and have begun to cut out the things in life that have been affecting my health. My two big loves in life are beer and pasta and I've had to say good bye to them.. but I think it will be all worth it if I - A. Feel a lot better and B. Drop the excess weight I've been carrying for a while. I have to say it was pretty depressing last week not being able to get into a dress similar to this: Okay, granted these dresses are generally made for Chinese women who are pretty bloody small and I am a curvy dame. However, they do make them in extra large (which is seriously nothing in Western terms) and it would be nice to get into one! Even Di who is tiny, had to buy 2 sizes up in one of these than what she normally gets into. Still, it's disconcerting when you have a look in your head and it's unachievable due to your beer gut, thunder thighs and barge arse. I also have child bearing hips even though I don't need them! I also like the thought of feeling healthy in body,mind and spirit. I don't know why I persist in eating foods that bloat and give my stomach pains. I think we need to stop being a slave to our taste buds and start experiencing good food. I've been checking out all these alternatives to wheat and also discovering how many things contain the stuff! I ate white rice today and have decided to kick that to the kerb as well- it's hasn't really agreed with me. Milk was the hard one because as all who know me know, I am the queen o' the latte. There was no way I was going to have soy lattes so I had long blacks last week but they had me resembling Katherine Hepburn in her later years.. My friend Melanie, who is a dedicated soy latte drinker assurred me that it's all in the brand of soy they use and gave me a few names. I have to agree with her. I've had 2 now and they aren't all bad. The one I had years ago was the worst thing I had ever tasted and I swore I would never try another one but hey, never say never. I know what to look for now. I'm fortunate that my friend Jo is very knowledgeble in organics,wheat and dairy free diets and the best things to have so I'm not lost. I'm not a junk food eater so chocolate,cake, burgers,etc aren't a problem to me. I am in love with pasta but I have come to realise that it hasn't been loving me of late! I'm dreaming of having tonnes of energy, fitness, a toned Pilates body but still have my curvy dame bits and wearing that dress. Here goes nothing....