Tent Life

If only life could be like the Spiegeltent, it would be a happy one indeed. I've been there twice in the space of a fortnight and have had the best fun I've had in ages. The Swizzle Club, which begins at 11pm after all the acts have finished, is amazing. They have incredible DJ's who play an fabulous,ecletic mix of music and have cabaret,vaudevillian style acts in between. My first visit was to support Di and Dave as they performed 2 sets of tango but on the bill that night was a mime artist an a sexy girl who did a trapeze act wearing a 40's bathing suit,curly wig,dark glasses and flippers. She was carried out by 2 of the male wait staff which was a very nice touch indeed. Everyone danced their faces off to the music of Benny Goodman,Devo,Blondie and everything in between. I took a friend along the other night and she loved it. She's only 21 but hates the music of today and enjoys jazz and the sounds of the sixties so she felt right at home there. The entertainment for the evening was a guy who danced an Irish jig and stripped down to his white boggies and then gave himself a wedgie, a guy who hammered forks into his nasal passages and my favorite of all, this very sexy girl who wore a nude body suit with sparkly crystals covering the necessary parts who did a trapeze act. She was spectacular to watch and for 5 minutes I forgot I was a hetro woman as I fell in love with this beautiful, red haired goddess. The DJ for the evening was this very funky girl who looked like a young Leslee Sparke in a floor length,halter necked dress and no shoes. She danced and sang along to all her tunes and truly enjoyed what she did while she inspired the packed dance floor to shake it. Such an amazing place, full of vibrant people and Stella on tap. I also had a very drunk Deborah Mailman behind me dancing madly with her companions to the Jackson 5's 'I Want You Back' and exclaiming "Don't stop,give me more!" when it ended. 'Nuff said.....

Bad Hair Life

As I walk around the streets of this fine city, I've noticed the mullet is back in a huge way. A lot of guys are sporting it. They have been lied to and told it's the latest fashion but they were born the year the mullet was alive and horrible and don't know any better. I can kick, scream and cringe all I want but it ain't gonna change a thing. The mullet is here to stay. Whilst perusing CD's in Dirt Cheap today, I saw a CD cover that gave me a thought; Why not bring back a whole swag of bad hair do's? So blog readers, here is a list of hair dont's that the Milongita would like to see back as a hair do... THE NODDY HOLDER FRINGE. This is where the inspiration for said blog came from. I think the masses should run to the hairdressers and ask for the Noddy Holder special. Very short fringe with almost bob like rest of hair. Make sure you go out wearing tight satin trewzies,Doc Marten platform boots and no shirt. To authenticate this look, grab a Biro and write S-L-A-D on your knuckles and an E on the pad of your thumb. Walk down the street holding this out. Screech out the lyrics-"MA MAMA WEER ALLLLLL CRAAAAAZEEEEE NOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!" Get down and get with it. LIMAHL/NICK BEGGS ROCK HAIR Do you remember Kajagoogoo? Classic hair, this band. Limahl (not Kamahl) was the lead singer with the sticky up stylized mullet who sang "YOU'RE TOOOOO SHY SHY,HUSH,HUSH- EYEDOOOOOOOEYE!" He wore singlets, his eyes were kinda crossed... I think the Nick Beggs do was better- he had the mullet with the tail bits decorated with ...drum roll please.... SHELLS!!! So, head down to Cape Schanck, score the beach for shells and plait up... heavy duty hair gel won't go astray either, pets.. MICHAEL BOLTON/BILLY RAY CYRUS Pure class here people. Totally dedication to bad hair. You've got to almost respect these 2 for daring to look so awful. I have this vision of Michael eating his breakfast one morning, looked at this breakfast and was inspired to turn his hairstyle into something that resembled Shredded Wheat. Billy Ray hit the scene with the wrist slashingly awful "Achy Breaky Heart" and mercilessly unleashed a nation of boot scooters. He wore cowboy boots, tight jeans and a wife beater singlet. He also had and probably still does, one of the worst heads of hair I've laid eyes on. But this shouldn't stop you from going to your local barber and asking to become a skunk head. Some gave all, but I think some just threw up. JASON 'DIZZY'GILLESPIE I add Jase because he is the trend setter for bad hair coming back. I also needed an example of someone that needs to shave for a cure....

Kill Your Television

I hate Summer hiatis. Why do they schlump on the WORST telly imaginable?? Although Jackie Brown was a relief to the usual shite on Sunday night (hey I rhymed)! I used to love my Monday night viewing of Queer Eye, Sex In The City and Six Feet Under, Denton and John Saffran V God (although a short series). I cannot believe they are re running Seinfeld for the 400th time. I've just watched That 70's Show which is okay and currently enduring The Great Outdoors. Maybe it's the gods telling me to get off my sizeable arse and do something else like the dishes, make my dinner or write boring blogs about why TV sucks arse at the moment... My dream re runs are of Six Feet Under, Twin Peaks,Northern Exposure and Sex In The City every night. Northern Exposure... how I miss going to bed with visions of Joel Fleishmann and Chris in The Morning,Afternoon and Night.... mmmmmmm. Reality of course would have me waking up with Holling Vincouer and Maurice Minifield. How about some better films? They seem to re run the same bloody 6 films. Thank God for SBS and Channel 2. I flicked on the the ABC yesterday and watched a doco on Brian Wilson (man is he looking worse for wear), a repeat of an interview with Hank Rollins and a doco of a German jazz muso named Eddie Rosen which was very interesting. God I hate Sophie Faulkner. Although Tom the Chippy isn't a bad perv.... Okay time to grab the remote and switch to KILL....