Wednesday, November 18, 2009

She's Just Not That Into You

Las chicas and myself were having a chat the other week about men and in particular-Australian men and the dodgy encounters we have had with them thus far in our lives. I can't speak for every woman on the planet but I can speak for myself and here are some of the things I've discovered in my time on the planet with said Aussie males;
  • Australian men seem to have a deep insecurity about themselves which is always masked by a macho bravado. Instead of approaching a woman and simply introducing themselves, they generally come out with something insulting,cliched or just plain uninspired. When they don't get the desired result,the woman usually ends up on the receiving end of verbal abuse or insults (fucking dyke,you're a dog and I was hard up,etc etc.)
  • Stalking a woman like prey all night whilst getting drunk and then expecting a result is just plain delusional. I was at a club one night and this guy seemed to be everywhere I was. After a few hours and much alcohol consumed, he approached me and said "So are we going home together or what?"I don't even remember my response- I just remember being horrified. I don't know what universe that line works in but perhaps the poor sod reads too many comics.
  • Tell an Aussie male what you want and he does the complete opposite. Somehow I don't think reverse psychology works here either.
  • Australian men don't talk about anything real. Conversation is banal and random. They need to discuss 'things' which generally don't involve any sort of personal feeling or emotion. If it's not about sport,cars or alcohol then they tend to be a bit lost.
  • Australian men tend to have a pack mentality- told that Ed Hardy t shirts,jeans and thongs with a faux hawk hair do is the thing and they all do it. With mobile phone glued to their ear muttering 'schweet maaate' at intervals into the handset.
  • Most Aussie men seem to be disconnected from their feelings. The macho bloke seems archaic in this day and age. Seeing packs of guys wandering around the city without girls cements this ideal- girls have wised up and won't take the shit anymore. I wish we were taught the 'smarten up or fuck off' attitude when I was in high school. Sexism was a ideal that we hated but thought we had to accept. Thank god for the wisdom of age.
  • Watching an episode of The Footy Show is proof that the Australian male is sorely lacking in anything intelligent. Billy Brownless is a gormless fool with NO clue about women or anything (then again he has a wife with 4 children between them-she probably has a few shots before sex and thinks of the cash he provides or at least I hope she does). Sam Newman - look up the word 'misogynist' in the dictionary and you'll find his picture there. He has no regard for women whatsoever. I don't know how Caroline Wilson does it-she will never respected for her thoughts and knowledge regarding football simply because she is a woman. I hate that any woman with any football knowledge is feared and shunned or she is treated like one of the boys.
  • I also hate it when a girl is a bit wild, a bit out there,that a man(of any nationality) thinks they have the right to mistreat them. Porno speak,slapping,biting etc is not acceptable unless of course the woman has asked for it. Take her lead and respect her. Even if it's a one night stand, there are rules. Same goes for meeting someone on line- unless she has invited it, sleazy talk is a no go -again-unless she has invited it. Consensual sleazy chat is fine.

Okay menfolk, before you start burning dog poo on my doorstep, I don't mean all of you. I am not a man basher. I love men and I know many Australian guys who do not fit the mold of what I have said thus far. However, I feel that I can speak generally in regards to my experience.

A few pointers lads- if you're interested.

  • When you see a girl in a bar,pub etc that takes your fancy, approach her and say hello. Ask her her name, how her night is. Don't go up and offer to buy her a drink- first thought a girl has is drink spiking or 'he's trying to get me drunk and have his way with me'. Sorry guys-sad but true. The mongrels of this world have made it hard for the nice guys (and they do exist-the nice guys that is).
  • Nothing wrong with wanting a one night stand but make sure it's right for both parties. Be respectful and yes,this works both ways. If she makes YOU feel uncomfortable- tell her or leave. Don't exchange numbers,etc if you don't want to go there again. Be honest and say you just wanted this night of fun and that's it. If she cracks it, it's her problem-not your's.
  • Safe sex. Needs to be said. Don't assume someone is safe just because they say so. No glove,no love.
  • If you do exchange numbers, answer texts or calls if she contacts you. Again,works both ways.
  • Try new things. Even dancing. Don't use the 'I've got 2 left feet' line if you've never danced before. Feel the fear and do it anyway. You might surprise yourself.

These are my thoughts and feelings- I don't profess to be right but it's something I've been thinking about and thought 'what the hell, blog it out'.

Opinions are good. Don't hate me for it. The Milonguita has spoken.

16 comments:

dam buster said...

okaaaaay.. So I better not have that ice cold Coopers long neck waiting for you?

Margarita Milonguita said...

Ha ha- your call... I'm glad you aren't throwing virtual meat cleavers my way!

dam buster said...

I am no metrosexual Mags.

So no Ed Hardy t-shirts in my cupboard.

I hate some of those tools as well. they give punters like me a bad name

Margarita Milonguita said...

Exactly... such a shame that individualism is often sacrificed for acceptance. Ed Hardy is plain wrong. They give tatts a bad name (and look).

dam buster said...

I know what you mean. I get it that you are different. And frankly I think that is cool. Nothing wrong with not going with the crowd.

Margarita Milonguita said...

Nothing wrong with a crowd- as long as you have the freedom to be yourself. I guess at our age we should be able to seperate ourselves from the crowd and find the people who are closer to our natures.

dam buster said...

Yeah true. The problem is that when most guys go out they feel like they have to be 'one of the boys' so to speak and that they have to act a certain way or conform t their mates standards (or lack thereof!).

Insulting a woman is certainly not going to a guy anywhere. It is a very immature way to act. I agree with your sentiments about a one nighter or NSA. Don't even try to pretend it is something it is not.

Margarita Milonguita said...

I can see why guys do it- they want to appear to be a nice guy doing the right things when all the want to do is get out of there and not look back. My point is-save yourself the grief and bother.
Say it how it is,say thanks for a fun time and go home via the nearest cafe for breakfast alone. If she/he chucks a wobbly for your honesty, not your problem- it's theirs. You don't owe them anything. No need to be guilty or wear another's bad energy.

dam buster said...

Spot on. Maybe you need a print out of this post for potential suitors so that they can ensure they are fulfilling your needs!

As for the one nighter thing or NSA or whatever - It is funny how some people can read so much more into effectively a relationship that lasts a few hours and is purely physical.

Margarita Milonguita said...

For sure... as for 'potential suitors fulfilling my needs', no one comes near.Seems that if my image doesn't match what they think I should be,all I'm left with is dust where they once stood.
I'm constantly being put in the too hard basket or not noticed at all.
How someone doesn't notice me is a mystery as I don't exactly blend into a crowd or background.

dam buster said...

Not noticed at all? Do you hang out with the men from the blind institute and guide dogs australia!

How could a guy not notice you? seriously!

Margarita Milonguita said...

Here they don't... that's why I loved Buenos Aires. Men constantly calling me 'linda'(pretty) and saying hello. I'm not blonde,I'm not young and I speak my mind. Therefore I'm not noticed or I'm ignored. If you call a spade a bloody shovel, you tend to dig your own grave. So be it.

dam buster said...

Bugger that Mags! And bugger them. If they want a blow up doll as a girlfriend, f-buddy, one nighter then let em blow.

A woman who likes a long neck is alright in my books!

Margarita Milonguita said...

I agree- I won't play their reindeer games. My ideal of myself is more important- I'm not shedding any tears and boo hooing over that.
I'm fairly comfortable with who I am. If anyone else isn't- so what?

dam buster said...

Good to hear Mags. People spend too much time beating up on themselves and trying to be people who they are not.. As in your posts theme.

Guys are prone to act a role. Act in a particular way to impress others (friends or women).

Margarita Milonguita said...

Word up brother...