Hand On My Heart, Head Up My Arse

I should write more often. The last 3 or so weeks have found this girl on such emotional highs and lows. I blog my hopes and dreams only to have them dashed and then I'm too embarrassed to say that I caught the loser bus again. That's life -or at least my life- I guess and everyone who has read my stuff knows that. Last time I actually wrote-song lyrics don't count here- was when I got asked out on a date. Said date didn't happen. Got the text about 90 mins before we were due to meet saying 'sorry can't do the gallery. I have to work'.. yeah right, whatever. I have seen him a few times since then but it was weird after the initial barrage of flirty,cheeky messages to have him change his mind and then nothing. In all reality, he is way too young for me or I'm too old for him but I still couldn't help feeling disappointed. I feel like I'm the butt of a joke in some sketch comedy show sometimes. That episode of The Simpsons where Lisa needs money to buy a copy of Bleeding Gums' album and she sees $100 note on the street. She goes to pick it up only to find it's attached to string and Mr Burns is driving away while Lisa's running to try and pick it up. That kind of sums up my efforts in the past year to couple up in some way. So, new plan. Forget all that crap. It's not working anyway so therefore- a waste of time and good effort. It shouldn't be that hard anyway. I've decided to dedicate all my time and effort to myself. It's definatly going to be all about me. Those people who can't seem to make time for me, fine, I won't make time for you. I'm going to be so busy I won't be able to fit you in anyway. I want a new life and I want it with the lot. I'm sick of being nice and accommodating all the time. If you need me, I won't be here. The doctor is out.