Tango and Madness

Chau Por Siempre

2011-07-19T16:59:00.000+10:00

When a (now ex) friend suggested I begin writing a blog back in 2004, I was a different person. I was troubled and doing a lot of tango-hence the title 'Tango and Madness'.

Nearly seven years on, I'm older-a bit wiser and a lot more relaxed. I don't do that much tango anymore. This blog isn't really a good fit for me.

So,this is it. I've decided to keep blogging on my 'Can Madam Burn' blog about food and perhaps a bit about my regular life.

So for those who have supported me a bit along my way-thank you. I've made friends and shared ideas with people from different parts of the globe and that has been wonderful. I hope to continue to do so as a burning madam.

To quote Cheap Trick from their 'Heaven Tonight' album;

"See you later, see you later. Buenos Noches, Bye Bye"...

Down In The Mouth

2011-04-27T15:59:00.004+10:00

I decided about a month or so ago that I was going to get my teeth repaired. I'm sick of worrying about how much things 'cost' so I thought, "fuck it, I'm just gonna live on air and water in order to have the perfect smile".

I made the appointment and headed on over to the dentist for the first time in nearly 3 years. I was gung ho about getting it all done then but my lady factory threw all that out the window. After all that palavar, I couldn't handle the thought of any form of surgery for awhile and it's taken me this long to get my head around it again.
I had to complete a form in which they needed to know my medical history. In the time that had elapsed between dental visits, I'd been diagnosed with a thyroid condition and had a mental relapse along with dodgy lady bits that needed to be removed. My lovely new dentist, Dr Jun Hu,read my file and then informed me that I was eligible to have all this work covered by Medicare! Yay for my dodgy thyroid and my spazzy disposition!
All I needed was a letter from my GP stating this was true plus the name of my specialist (of which I have one for each) and I was in free dental heaven.

That visit was paid for by me but mainly covered by my health insurance. My last 2 visits were covered by Medicare. The first visit entailed a full check up, 4 X Rays and a full scale and clean.
The second visit, she drilled and filled my top front teeth and gave one of them a temporary filling. The third visit she drilled the teeth on my right side and gave me six fillings; 4 are for new cavities, 2 were old fillings that she drilled out and replaced with white ones. Prior to that, they were the old silver amalgam types. No more silver flash the rare times I do smile. She gave me LOTS of anaesthetic for that job. My mouth on that side was numb for hours and so was my tongue. I was due to go out that night and hoped that putting makeup on and getting gussied up would cover it. This was the result;

I swear I'm not putting this face on. It is purely anaesthetic face!

This almost looks like the cover of the Rocky Horror record.."Margarita Milonguita- a new set of jaws!"

The Crunch

2011-01-13T18:01:00.000+11:00

too much too little

too fat

too thin

or nobody.

laughter or

tears

haters

lovers

strangers with faces like

the backs of

thumb tacks

armies running through

streets of blood

waving winebottles

bayoneting and fucking

virgins.

an old guy in a cheap room

with a photograph of M. Monroe.

there is a loneliness in this world so great

that you can see it in the slow movement of

the hands of a clock

people so tired

mutilated

either by love or no love.

people just are not good to each other

one on one.

the rich are not good to the rich

the poor are not good to the poor.

we are afraid.

our educational system tells us

that we can all be

big-ass winners

it hasn't told us

about the gutters

or the suicides.

or the terror of one person

aching in one place

alone

untouched

unspoken to

watering a plant.

people are not good to each other.

people are not good to each other.

people are not good to each other.

I suppose they never will be.

I don't ask them to be.

but sometimes I think about

it.

the beads will swing

the clouds will cloud

and the killer will behead the child

like taking a bite out of an ice cream cone.

too much

too little

too fat

too thin

or nobody

more haters than lovers.

people are not good to each other.

perhaps if they were

our deaths would not be so sad.

meanwhile I look at young girls

stems

flowers of chance.

there must be a way.

surely there must be a way that we have not yet

though of.

who put this brain inside of me?

it cries

it demands

it says that there is a chance.

it will not say

"no."

Por Memorias y Jucticia

2010-12-23T14:19:00.002+11:00

When I was in Buenos Aires last year, I became a bit obsessed with 'Los Desaparecidos' (the disappeared). These are people who,during the dictatorship in Argentina,were taken away. Most were children and in some cases,their parents were killed. Every Thursday, a large group of women known as Asociación Madres de Plaza de Mayo, fight for justice and to find the children that were taken away from them.

The marker in the footpath below, are located all around San Telmo. Each one represent one of 'The disappeared' and is put there 'for memory and justice'. Thank God the man responsible for this horror has been found guilty and will spend the rest of his short,hideous life behind bars.

Former Argentine dictator jailed for life

Former Argentine dictator General Jorge Videla has been sentenced to life imprisonment for crimes against humanity.
A court in the central city of Cordoba found Videla criminally responsible for the torture and killing of at least 31 political prisoners during his rule.

The Supreme Court judgment was met with cheers by activists and relatives of victims, many of whom brandished photographs of their murdered loved ones.

This is the second time he has been sentenced for human rights abuses, having been pardoned from his first sentence 20 years ago.

That amnesty was overturned in 2007 and there are dozens of cases pending against the 85-year-old and other military leaders.

Muchas Gracias a Todos

2010-09-21T11:39:00.000+10:00

Another birthday has come and gone. This year I decided to low tone it celebration wise and I throughly enjoyed it.

I spent the weekend quietly- retiring to my bed/lounge early to watch the footy and eat my dinner in bed.
Sunday I woke up,had 3 coffees and an almond croissant and readied myself for my drinks arvo at Yorkshire Stingo's in Abbotsford. A small group of lovely friends joined me for drinks and a bit of food.

When we were done there, we picked up Stacey and went to St Kilda Bowls Club to see one of our favorite Melbourne bands, Firebird and they did not disappoint. After that, we drove to Bimbo's for pizza and then dropped in to Night Cat for one set of Rumberos, a latin band. They were good but we were tired by then and all the ladies went to our respective homes for a well earned sleep!

I just want to thank all my lovely friends for your support and your birthday wishes. As I get older, I realise more and more that it's the people you surround yourself that matters. I liken friends to a game of cricket; do you want the sort that will go out to bat for you or the ones that run you out?

Thanks again good people...x

Wristcutters- A Love Story

2010-09-13T13:33:00.005+10:00

Mikal,Zia and Eugene from a scene in 'Wristcutters- A Love Story'.

After a long emotional and crappy week, Friday finally came and went. It was definatly the weekend to spend in Cinema Margarita.

About 3 years ago, someone posted a clip on My Space for a film called 'Wristcutters' which I thought was a documentary about self harming. I pressed play and realised very quickly that this was not the case.

Last Friday night, I was at my video store deciding what else to watch when for some reason, this title came to mind. I asked the attendant if they stocked it and they did. I am a huge fan of the black comedy genre-as long as it's done well and this film did not disappoint.

The film begins with Zia, a guy who has been dumped by the love of his life,Desiree. Unable to deal with the pain of losing her, he suicides by cutting his wrists and bleeding out in a full sink. He crosses over to an afterlife where 'everythings the same,just a little bit worse'. He works at Kamikaze Pizza and befriends Eugene, a Russian immigrant rocker who 'offs' himself on stage- very rock and roll.

One night whilst Zia and Eugene are at the bar, he runs into an old friend who advises Zia that Desiree had killed herself a month after his suicide. Zia encourages Eugene to go on a road trip in search of her so they can be reunited. In a car that has no lights and a black hole, they hit the road. On the way,they encounter a hitch hiker, Mikal who is looking for 'the people in charge' as she has been sent there by accident. They stumble across Kneller (the amazingly fabulously wonderful Tom Waits) who has lost his dog. He takes them back to a camp where miracles occur. In the search for Kneller's dog, Mikal and Zia's relationship develops on a beach they find (they spend an intimate night on a condom and syringe littered sandbank).
Kneller finds his dog but ends up being someone entirely different to what you first think, Zia locates Desiree and Mikal finds the people in charge.

To say I loved this film would be a huge understatement. It was imaginative,creative and highly original. I have this film for a week and I am definatly going to watch it again before I return it. If you feel so inclined, get it and if you can't find it, try downloading it! Great performances and music too. I need to get me some Gogol Bordello music....

'Ooh ooh ooh-through the roof,underground'........

Memo To The World

2010-09-08T13:49:00.000+10:00

Just because I say it and I write it, it isn't always so.
To paraphase a quote by JC (and I don't mean Jarvis Cocker);
'Ask me and I'll tell you. Knock and I'll open up to you'

From now on, I will be known as Ms Under Stood- because I totally am.

To those who may be offended by my words I am sorry BUT if you want to know what I mean-ask me.
If you could hear my voice now, it is gentle and concise, not shouty and angry.

To those who think I have some sort of agenda, I don't. Perhaps you feel that by blogging this,
the lady doth protest too much. I'm not protesting, I'm blogging. Which is something I haven't done in a long time.

To those who feel I have wronged them, come forward and tell me so I have a right of reply and the chance to apologise. As far as I was aware, the Salem witch trials ended a long time ago. Please advise if they have started again so I can re apply my lippy before I'm burnt at the stake.

Freedom is blogging. Freedom is the right to say you hate me and my blog, go to your settings and deleting me.

I don't hate anyone and I am an open book. Be it embarrassing,drunken,all singing,all dancing- this is me for better or worse.

That's it.

Peace,love and sticky date pudding...x

This Picture Says It All

2010-07-23T13:44:00.000+10:00

Discovered walking down Blyth Street in East Brunswick. 'Nuff said...

Full Of Life, Sin Palabras

2010-07-07T18:09:00.001+10:00

I've been thinking of things to write about but I've still got nothing. Life is good and things are getting sorted. It's a good feeling. I sense a change is coming.

My dear friend Melinda who's in Sydney is coming to live in Melbourne for at least a year. I can't wait. Caroline is currently in Buenos Aires and will be back in 3 weeks or so. It will be great when the Jazz Chicas reconvene with our new chica. The power of three may set you free but the power of four does so much more.

If you need a new recipe for lasagna, go to my food blog. Let me know how you went.
Out of words at the moment. Hope to recharge soon.

Down, but not out.

2010-06-10T14:08:00.000+10:00

It's been a while since I've blogged.

I'm out with a cold at present and have no imagination due to a noggin full of mucus.

I promise to write more when it's cleared. Comment frequently and do visit. I miss you!

Your's Faithfully,
Snot Face xxx

For Those That Still Want It

2010-05-20T10:30:00.001+10:00

~~photos by margarita milongita~~

Oh yay oh joy... after initially missing out on a ticket, I got to see one of my favourite bands, The Chills on Friday night. I'm still not sure of the East Brunswick club as a venue but heck, I would have seen them in a toilet block if that 's what was on offer!

The last time I saw them which- incidently, was the last time they toured- was in 1992 where they did 4 gigs at the now defunct Club in Collingwood. I saw them twice. I went to the first gig, where I had dragged my sorry arse out of my sick bed to see them. By Sunday, which was their last gig, I was feeling fitter so I went again so I could drink and dance! I remember when they played 'Wet Blanket', it was so packed I couldn't dance, so I ran to the toilets and had a boogie!!!

The Chills broke up in 1993 and the only thing they released was 'Heavenly Pop Hits-The Best Of The Chills'. Martin Phillipps dealt with his long term addiction to drugs and alcohol in that time. A great quote from him was that "I got over my additions and I didn't need God or Jesus to do it!"

I was concerned what the sound would be like after 18 years but my fears were soon placated. All the great tunes such as I Love My Leather Jacket, Pink Frost,Wet Blanket,Heavenly Pop Hit etc etc sounded wonderful. Martin stepped to the mic and asked if anyone went to the '92 gigs-I was at the front and raised my hand. He was wondering about my age and then said 'oh we won't go there!' I responded that I was up there!

During a technical problem, Martin stepped to the keyboard and performed 'Submarine Bells' and he admitted that was the first time he performed it properly... sounded beautiful to me.

One encore and an apology from Martin explaining they had to leave plus the promise they will return and I was standing on Lygon St. I think I floated out of there. What a gift.

I hope they come back soon.

Carl Williams' Coffin

2010-04-30T15:40:00.000+10:00

So, the fat man,Big Carl Williams-got what was coming to him. Live by the sword,die by the sword.
But what's with the big gold coffin? Very woggy and not to mention-extremely tacky.

Kind of reminds me of this;

The man had no charms so these might help him in the next life.

Uptown Jazz Wednesdays

2010-04-15T13:15:00.000+10:00

My friends,Stacey & Caroline or as we like to call ourselve-Las Chicas del Musica Jazz- have taken to frequenting the Uptown Jazz bar on Brunswick St, Fitzroy to see a bebop band called Bop Stretch.
It also means we indulge in too much alcohol and have way too good a time. Oh, life is so difficult at times...

Uptown Jazz.. have yourself a boppin' good night

The Sweaty Toothed Mad Man Speaks

2010-04-14T14:39:00.005+10:00

O Me! O life! of the questions of these recurring,
Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish,
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d,
Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,
Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,

The question, O me! so sad, recurring-What good amid these, O me, O life?
Answer.

That you are here-that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.

Nice one Walt Whitman

Cold Weather At Last

2010-04-12T11:42:00.000+10:00

It was so lovely and cold last night. I woke up and it was still cold. Thank you God!

Anyone who knows me knows I hate hot weather and especially humidity with a passion. I can almost hear the coats in my wardrobe singing- knowing that soon they will be worn and shown off for the little beauties that they are.

The only thing is that I have to put up with whiny maggots whinging how much they hate Winter and they miss the beach.

Fuck off and shut up.

Viva el Invierno!!!

Sweaty

2010-04-07T16:41:00.001+10:00

I'm so fucking sick of this tropicalesque weather. Along with being menopausal, it's a nightmare.
I feel like a walking sauna.

To top things off, I bought an ice cream at lunch time which fell on my top. I'm going to look like a derro at Uptown jazz tonight.

Poo bum and damnit- I'll have to have a martini now to calm my dented ego.

Niagara Exhibition Opening At Outre Gallery

2010-04-06T11:28:00.001+10:00

Niagara with MM and lovely gal named Rakkel. She let me bum a couple of smokes.

Bless you love.

The Artist with some adoring punters

MM with Niagara. She loved me..

Niagara with Rakkel next to the print I bought.

The purchased print. I should get it this week. Oh joy oh yayness!

Cinema Margarita-Inglorious Basterds

2010-03-30T09:47:00.002+11:00

Cinema Margarita- films watched by moi on a lap top in bed.

I know I'm about half a year late writing about this one but I watched this film last night for the second time and loved it. I bet a lot of Jews loved this film and the feeling -even if only cinematically-of revenge.

The characters were well crafted and acted, the look very stylish,the violence graphic and frightening. The soundtrack-as usual- was first rate. Of course the clothing-being the 1940's- is sublime. So love that era.

Love him or hate him- Quentin Tarantino is a film maker you can't ignore. He wears his influences on his sleeve and I love him for it. If you saw the documentary 'Not Quite Hollywood', you'll know one thing-that man knows his shit.

The Fat Of The Land

2010-03-19T10:07:00.001+11:00

Was having my morning latte getting some news from the appalling 'Sunrise' program when they reported the following story;

An obese mother in the US is trying to put on weight in order to become the world's fattest woman.

Donna Simpson, from New Jersey, weighs 273kg but told the Daily Mail newspaper she had her heart set on reaching her goal weight of 1000lb (450kg) in two years.

The 42-year-old already holds the title of the world's fattest mother after giving birth to her daughter in 2007 when she weighed 241kg.

"I'd love to be 1000lb ... it might be hard though, running after my daughter keeps my weight down," Ms Simpson told the Daily Mail.

Ms Simpson, who needs a mobility scooter to go shopping, eats huge amounts of junk food each week and tries to move as little as possible so she doesn't burn off as many calories.

"I do love cakes and sweet things, doughnuts are my favourite," she said.

Ms Simpson said she also loved eating sushi and would often eat 70 big pieces in one go.

Her 49-year-old partner Philippe — who she met on a dating site for plus-size people — was encouraging her to reach her goal, she said.

"I think he'd like it if I was bigger ... he's a real belly man and completely supports me," she said.

To put on enough weight, Ms Simpson will need to eat 12,000 calories a day, which is six times the recommended daily intake for women.

In order to pay for the enormous amounts of food she is eating — her weekly grocery bill is $815 — Ms Simpson makes money by running a website where men pay to watch her consume fast food.

The first thing I thought of is 'some people will do anything to get on television' and then I remembered a documentary that was on SBS a few years ago about people who have a fetish for obesity. When they showed her partner being interviewed and stating how he fully supports this, I thought 'BINGO'- he's a 'feeder' and gets a total boner watching her wobble around the house. He'll be spraying his shorts when she gets to 1000 pounds and can't move. She's already getting around on motorised bike thing that is usually reserved for disabled people.

This situation is wrong on so many levels. Despite her lack of self esteem, waste of money spending over $800 a week on food (!) and the detriment to health, she is a complete drain on society and the medical system. She'd better have some first class health insurance that covers her. If that partner of her's truly loved her, he wouldn't allow her to kill herself because he finds obesity a total sexual turn on.

Love is strange.

New Blog

2010-03-18T17:54:00.002+11:00

I've been writing a cookbook in my head for about 5 years. That's exactly where it's stayed. After watching 'Like Water For Chocolate' for the umpteenth time, I figured it was time to start writing my 'head notes' out.

So I've begun a new blog- you can read it here.

I hope you'll follow and perhaps learn something.

I Miss.....

2010-03-15T17:22:00.001+11:00

Tango. I miss it a lot. I've had a break from it because it was making me sick. I hate how some people take it so freakin' seriously to the point of becoming elitist.

I need to discover a way where it's special for me. Where it's a quiet fire within me. Without listening to the negativity and the grief of other. Without absorbing the politics. After being on that side of things for so long, I feel I can finally turn my back on the crap and walk in the light and beauty of tango.

Seeing how tango truly is whilst in Buenos Aires was a revelation. It was wonderful to understand and feel it's simple truth. Tango is a man and the rest of us are women- getting frustrated about why he doesn't do what we want. Always wondering what he's thinking and why he's oh so complicated. The reality is-men and tango are not so complicated and mystical. If we take a deep breath and ask them, they will tell us to relax and not take it so seriously.

We get caught in the cogs of ganchos,voleos,volcadas,colgadas,paradas etc and do our heads in counting and obsessing about steps. We need to close our eyes and remember this;

Listen to the music,embrace,lead and follow. Connection. This is the eye contact and the perfect dialogue of the tango.

Everything else is just a shouting match.

Enough Already

2010-03-12T10:17:00.002+11:00

I can't take it anymore. All the hoo har about Lara Bingle and Michael Clarke makes me want to grab a pick axe and place it in someone's spinal column.

Note to mainstream media - I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT THOSE TWO PRETENTIOUS VACUOUS TWATS.

Do the news. Chile has had 2 after shocks. Place your focus there -on something that truly matters.

The Beautiful Song At The End

2010-03-04T15:42:00.001+11:00

Jorge Drexler - Al Otro Lado Del Rio
(From the movie "The Motorcycle Diaries")

Clavo mi remo en el agua
llevo tu remo en el mío.
Creo que he visto una luz
al otro lado del río.

El día le irá pudiendo
poco a poco al frío.
Creo que he visto una luz
al otro lado del río.

Sobre todo, creo que no todo está perdido.
Tanta lágrima, tanta lágrima,
y yo soy un vaso vasio

Oigo una voz que me llama,
casi un suspiro:
¡Rema, rema, rema!
¡Rema, rema, rema!

En esta orilla del mundo
lo que nos es presa es baldío.
Creo que he visto una luz
al otro lado del río.

Yo, muy serio, voy remando,
muy adentro y sonrío.
Creo que he visto una luz
al otro lado del río.

Sobre todo, creo que
no todo está perdido.
Tanta lágrima, tanta lágrima, y yo
soy un vaso vacío...

Oigo una voz que me llama,
casi un suspiro:
¡Rema, rema, rema!
¡Rema, rema, rema!

Clavo mi remo en el agua
llevo tu remo en el mío.
Creo que he visto una luz
al otro lado del río.

(English Translation)

I nail (or plunge) my oar in the water
I carry your oar in mine
I believe I have seen a light
On the other side of the river

The day will come when we will be able to conquer
Little by little, the cold
I believe I have seen a light
On the other side of the river

Above all, I believe that all is not lost
So many tears, So many tears
And I am an empty glass (or - vessel)
I hear a voice that calls to me,

almost as a sigh :
"Row, Row, Row!
Row, Row, Row!"

In this border of the world
Where we are imprisoned, are uncultivated,
I believe that I have seen a light
On the other side of the river

I, very serious, go rowing
Very deeply inside and I smile
I believe that I have seen a light
On the other side of the river

Above all, I believe that
all is not lost
So many tears, So many tears.. and I
am an empty glass (or vessel)

I hear a voice that calls to me,
almost as a sigh :
"Row, Row, Row!
Row, Row, Row!

I nail (plunge) my oar in the water
I carry your oar in mine
I believe I have seen a light
On the other side of the river

Al Otro Lado Del Río

2010-03-04T15:26:00.002+11:00

I miss Buenos Aires. I woke up this morning thinking of waking up and going to La Poesia in San Telmo for my tres media lunas y cafe con leche. Of milonga nights and creeping in at the wee small hours. The architecture, los piropos and everything else. Instead of rushing to work, I watched a bit of The Motorcycle Diaries to glimpse that wonderful city at the beginning and hear the beautiful song at the end.

I know it's a city with many problems and worries.I harbour no illusions that things are better there- just different.

I just love it and want to be there.

I'm sad and lost. I wish - like the Piazzolla song- I could return South. Te quiero al Sur....

The Big O

2010-03-03T11:32:00.004+11:00

This is not a post about Roy Orbison. This is a post about orgasms.

Not this

This

Orgasms are good. We all love them when we have them. They are meant to make us feel alive.
The intensity makes your thighs wobbly and may cause you to go blind for a couple of minutes, followed by rapturous shivers through your body.

For some people, this simply isn't enough. Some people need to tie something to restrict the supply of oxygen to the brain whilst beating off. This practice is known as Auto Erotic Asphyixiation (or AEA). It is believed to intensify your orgasm by a hundred- if you live.

I logged onto The Age this morning to this story and thought 'how sad'. For a start, the guy is gay. Sex for a gay man -from my observation anyway-is a virtual smorgasbord. What could be better menfolk, than someone who knows how your bits work and gets the job done? I guess that's why a lot of straight men stop off at 'beats' on the way home from the office or the worksite to get a blowjob. Ladies, we don't need to hang ourselves to have a screaming orgasm- we know or should know- how to pleasure ourselves.

Let's not join the ranks of this young man, Michael Hutchense and David Carradine. Life's too good to die for a moment of intense pleasure. Unless of course, you mean to.

Psychocandy

2010-03-02T18:10:00.000+11:00

Sorry for the lack of writing lately. I've started many posts and deleted them. Sometimes you just fall into a literary hole and have nothing to say.

I've been a million miles away in the last month. I want to speak but feel stifled... hopefully the fog will lift and I'll be able to supply you with truckloads of words yet again.

As Glass Tiger annoyed us with in the '80's; "don't forget me when I'm gone-my heart will break."

Boogie Nights and Drinks On Fire

2010-02-08T15:45:00.004+11:00

The Monday morning after a splendid weekend- I didn't stop for anything!

Started the weekend having dinner with Stacey at her tres fabulous new studio apartment in Richmond. After a sumptuous dinner of atlantic salmon,mash and asparagus washed down with a bottle of sauv blanc, we frocked up and taxied it over to Tiki Lounge & Bar on Swan St, Richmond. We were treated like royality all evening by the hosts,Dianne & David. The delectable barman,Sasha,made us fabulous drinks all night that didn't disappoint.

We started the night with a Zombie. No messing around. After a bottle of wine, it was time for drinks on fire!

Stacey & MM with the fab-a-licious classic Zombies

Good golly Miss Hollie! She was driving so only had a beer. The Zombie would have rendered her 'the walking dead' and a definite loss of license!

Caroline joined us shortly after and didn't take much convincing to order a Zombie. Sasha words her up on the history of this stupendous drink...

Some drinks even come with Di popping out the top!

Ch Ch Ch Ch Ch Ch Ch Ch- Cherry Bomb! A Negroni after that and we are done!

The following night, a shindig was held at the Collingwood warehouse as a get together to wish Bags and Vix well on their trip to Japan which is happening this Thursday. A good gathering and good times were had...

Bags spinning the platters on the wheels of steel

Stacey with a Mai Tai getting on down with Pat

Vix and Bags boogalooing the night away

Dean and Simon get rock 'n' roll on your ass

Stace and Muzz are either dancing or chanting Hare Krishna

Big Q, Fi Fi and Andreas

Hollie on the floor with the 5 Seeds..

With the weekend all done with, I now have to head home after the unavoidable Monday to complete chores that didn't get a look at all weekend. Such is life....

You've Got To Fight The Powers That Be...

2010-02-05T15:48:00.002+11:00

So said Chuck D in 1989 and never a truer sentence was said.

The so-called powers that be underestimated the music community by introducing their stupid laws which led to the closure of The Tote. We then heard that the Arthouse would be the next casuality. We all stood up and said 'this is fucked'.

I want to go on TV and turn into Howard Beale and scream "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore!!" (google 'Network-1976 if you don't get this reference).

S.L.A.M has organised a rally to be held on February 23. Here's a copy of the email that is being sent around at the moment. Hope y'all can make it.

ATTENTION ALL LIVE MUSIC LOVERSŠ NOW IS THE TIME TO
SAVE LIVE AUSTRALIA¹S MUSIC (S.L.A.M.)

S.L.A.M. (Save Live Australia¹s Music) is calling on Victoria¹s music
community to raise your voice and protest the plight of our local music
scene!
The recent closure of The Tote and the announcement of The Arthouse¹s
intention to do the same is causing increasing alarm amongst Victoria¹s
music scene and wider music community. These closures, a result of the
destructive impact caused by Liquor Licensing Victoria¹s decision to treat
live music venues as high-risk, penalizing them with higher fees and greater
costs for required security, is now posing a huge threat to more of the
state¹s venues and in turn the livelihood of the local music community.
In a reaction to the lack of response from the government to amend these
regulations, S.L.A.M. (Save Live Australia¹s Music) have announced a Public
Rally to be held on Tuesday 23rd February commencing at 4pm in the City.
(proposed assembly point, the State Library check the website for
details).

S.L.A.M. is a collective of Victoria¹s broader musical community who have
joined forces to make their voice heard as local music becomes increasingly
under threat due to these ill-conceived Liquor Licensing Laws. S.L.A.M. are
calling on musicians and music lovers from all genres, creeds and
generations to unite to Protest to Save Live Australia¹s Music on the 34th
anniversary of AC/DC¹s iconic ŒLong Way To The Top¹ clip originally filmed
on Swanston Street.
Leading the procession will be the extraordinary RocKwiz Orchestra
performing on the back of a truck AC/DC-style with Lucky Luscombe, James
Black and Mark Ferrie and everyone¹s favourite host with the most, Brian
Nankervis plus the original troupe of bag pipe players. This will be filmed
by Paul Dane who shot the legendary clip back in 1976. This historic event
aims to make the Government to hear our cry to save live music from the
clutches of Victoria¹s draconian Liquor Licensing Laws. Our aim is to
de-link the high risk conditions and need for security on all liquor
licenses for venues that play live and amplified music and push for these to
be given fairer consideration. Live music venues are not high risk and we
have asked that Victorian community join in a peaceful protest to have their
voice heard!

So bring your band, your fans, your friends and family and join this protest
of a lifetime. To register your band or become a volunteer check out the
S.L.A.M. website: www.slamrally.org

El Centro De La Semana

2010-02-03T11:18:00.000+11:00

Wearing red
Feeling flirty
Listening to Pavement's Crooked Rain,Crooked Rain
Tango starts again
Getting my hair done tonight

It's a good day.

Blasphemy

2010-02-01T14:05:00.000+11:00

How dare they make a Hollywood version of 'Edge Of Darkness'? And to throw salt in the wound,Mel Gibson in the starring role. Nothing is sacred anymore.

For those of you that might wonder what I'm raving about (and yes, I am raving,screaming and flailing my arms around in a rage over this one), this-what I believe-heap of shit movie is based on one of the best fucking mini series I have ever seen. Produced by the BBC in 1985, it is well acted and good to the last drop. I have seen it several times over the years and it still gives me the same feeling it did when I first watched it.

Wikipedia has an excellent description of the show although there are a few spoilers. Read it here if you're interested. Better still, run to your local DVD store and rent it-you won't regret.

And for God's sake, don't go and see that piece of shit excuse of a 'remake'. Rest assured, I won't be.

The Death Of Holden Caulfield

2010-01-29T16:31:00.001+11:00

Reclusive author JD Salinger, who has died aged 91, was a giant of American literature whose seminal novel, The Catcher in the Rye, lent a voice to the angst and despair felt by generations of rebellious adolescents.

One of the most admired and influential US writers following the success of his 1951 novel and its laconic anti-hero, Holden Caulfield, Salinger published nothing after 1965 and had not been interviewed since 1980.

The author died on Wednesday at his home in New Hampshire, the Harold Ober Associates agency said on Thursday. The cause of death was not announced.

Mystery surrounded much of the last five decades of his life. After being overwhelmed by his new fame, Salinger withdrew from public life, retreating to his house perched on a tree-blanketed hill in the small town of Cornish, New Hampshire.

Memoirs written by his daughter and a former lover affirmed that Salinger still wrote, but there has been no sign of any new book despite the entreaties of his legions of fans.

Indeed in a rare 1980 interview with the Boston Sunday Globe in 1980, Salinger said: "I love to write, and I assure you I write regularly. But I write for myself and I want to be left absolutely alone to do it."

News in 1997 that his last published work, Hapworth 16: 1924, which appeared in The New Yorker magazine, was about to be reissued in hard print sparked excitement in the literary world. But the publication date was frequently postponed, with no reason given.

Jerome David Salinger was born on New Year's Day 1919 in Manhattan, New York, the son of an Irish mother and Jewish father with Polish roots.

As a teenager he began writing stories. In 1940, his debut story, The Young Ones, about several aimless youths was published in Story magazine.

Then came America's entry into the war, and the young Salinger was drafted in 1942. He took part in the D-Day stormings of the Normandy beaches, and his wartime experiences are said to have marked him for life.

He married a German woman after the war, but the marriage fell apart after just a few months, and Salinger renewed his writings with a passion.

In 1948 he published the short story, A Perfect Day for Bananafish, in The New Yorker, bringing him acclaim and introducing the Glass family and its seven rambunctious children Seymour Buddy, Boo Boo, Walt, Waker, Zooey, and Franny, who were to populate several of his short stories.
But it was The Catcher in the Rye, published three years later, that was to seal his reputation. The book was an instant success, and even today remains recommended reading at many high schools, selling about 250,000 copies a year.

Sixteen-year-old Holden Caulfield's adventures and musings as he makes his way home after being kicked out of school touched a raw nerve and have fascinated generations of disaffected youngsters.

Yet the novel was also sharply criticised for its liberal use of swear words and open references to sex, and was banned in some countries.

Always a private person, Salinger found his new fame oppressive, and in 1953 he moved to sleepy Cornish, in the hope of staying out of the limelight.

Other collections of short stories or novellas followed, such as Franny and Zooey, until his last published work, Hapworth 16: 1924, appeared in The New Yorker magazine in 1965.

"There is a marvelous peace in not publishing. It's peaceful," Salinger said in 1974, when he broke more than 20 years of silence in a phone interview with The New York Times.

"Publishing is a terrible invasion of my privacy. I like to write. I love to write. But I write just for myself and my own pleasure."

In 1955 he married a young student, Claire Douglas, and they had two children, Margaret and Matt. In Margaret's memoirs, The Dream Catcher, she reflects on an often painful childhood, describing her father as an autocratic man who kept her mother as a "virtual prisoner".

They divorced in 1967, and in 1972 Salinger began a year-long relationship with 18-year-old Joyce Maynard, with whom he had been exchanging letters.

In a sign of the lingering interest in Salinger, some letters he wrote to Maynard sold for more than $US150,000 at auction in 1999.

Salinger remained to the end of his life in his Cornish home, and had been married to Collen O'Neill since the 1980s. He fiercely guarded his privacy, even turning to the courts to stop publication of his letters. He refused all offers to sell the screen rights to Catcher.

One of his final moves came in July last year when a US judge suspended the publication of an unauthorised sequel to Catcher in the Rye by Swedish author Fredrik Colting.

"There's no more to Holden Caulfield. Read the book again. It's all there. Holden Caulfield is only a frozen moment in time," he told The Boston Globe.

50ft Queenie

2010-01-28T09:29:00.004+11:00

Queenie is a woman who was born and bred in Collingwood. She is an ardent supporter of community and especially of the Tote.

When she heard of it's decision to close, she got on the radio and put her two cents in. Have a listen to what she had to say. Bless you Queenie. More fiesty women needed, I say!
***************************************
MORE TOTE (yes I'm afraid so)...

NOT good enough. That is the live music industry's response to a decision by liquor licensing authorities to consider easing tough security conditions on venues only case by case.

Liquor Licensing director Sue Maclellan has called on music venue operators seeking relief from late-night licence conditions to contact Responsible Alcohol Victoria so their cases can be assessed individually.
But Jon Perring, from lobby group Fair Go 4 Live music, said the offer did not go far enough.

Mr Perring, joint owner of live music venues Bar Open and Pony, will urge Consumer Affairs Minister Tony Robinson today to drop regulations linking live music to tougher security requirements.

''This issue of linking live music with the security conditions, that's what's knocking off the gigs around town and creating the cultural carnage,'' he said.

He said Ms Maclellan indicated in a meeting yesterday that the authorities were not prepared to remove the link.

There was no research linking live music to anti-social behaviour, Mr Perring said, calling for security conditions to be based on alcohol consumption patterns and history of violence.

Mr Perring is considering taking over former Collingwood live music venue The Tote.

The Tote's departing licensee, Bruce Milne, yesterday blamed licensing conditions for his predicament, saying security costs rose from $60,000 in 2008 to $100,000 last year.

''It was the difference between the business being profitable and unprofitable,'' he said, packing boxes as he prepared to leave.

Opposition consumer affairs spokesman Michael O'Brien said Victoria's liquor licensing law was ''broken and needs to be fixed''. ''You can't have piecemeal, case-by-case exemptions,'' he said.

Premier John Brumby said ''fine-tuning'' could achieve sensible liquor laws and a vibrant music scene.

Fuck off Brumby and Co- fine tune my clacker you moron! Leave the little places alone that have been going along just fine and take your filthy money from Crown and other like minded establishment. They'll happily pay your retirement funds for you.

Life Line?

2010-01-27T12:06:00.000+11:00

BIG WIN FOR LIVE MUSIC VENUES- BY JASON DOWLING

January 27, 2010

LIVE music venues are expected to be the big winners from an urgent meeting today between the Director of Liquor Licensing Sue Maclellan and representatives of the live music scene.

It is believed the licensing regulator will reverse blanket high-risk enforcement on all music venues, an approach that has been blamed for the closure of popular Collingwood live music venue The Tote.

A State Government source said the director was likely to tell the live music sector that a more case-by-case approach to the tough rules would now be taken.

''The Government, director and industry all want to determine what flexibility can be exercised to ensure the ongoing viability of live music venues,'' the Government insider said.

Inner-city Government MPs faced an electoral backlash at this year's state election against the tough licensing requirements that have seen The Tote close and other venues threatened.

Melanie Bodiam, manager of live music venue The Arthouse, on the corner of Elizabeth and Queensberry streets, said she was extremely pleased about the expected change in approach by the liquor licensing regulator.

''Common sense prevailed - you wouldn't believe the smile on my face now,'' she said. Four bands will perform at The Arthouse tonight.

Apart from higher fees, requirements on live music venues had not changed since 1999. But many of those conditions, such as minimum security levels, have only recently been strictly enforced.

Ms Bodiam said venues would like more information on what a ''case by case'' basis meant. She said the new criteria should be determined in consultation with the music industry. But she said the backdown was a big win for the live music industry.

''It is so exciting to know that people have stood up and said what they want,'' she said.

Consumer Affairs Minister Tony Robinson said: ''The Government is very concerned about preserving a future for live music in Melbourne and we will work towards getting the balance right so we keep our streets safe and maintain the viability of live music venues.''

Under the current blanket approach, high-risk conditions are imposed on venues with live or amplified music and those trading past 1am. High-risk conditions on a licence require the licensee to employ a minimum level of security and install CCTV.

The State Government is also working on a longer-term strategy to help sustain Melbourne's live music culture.
The strategy is being developed by Mr Robinson and will include consultation with musicians, venue owners and managers, police and the Director of Liquor Licensing. The longer-term strategy will also consider issues such as when people move into areas serviced by live music and then complain about noise.

Today Is Monday

2010-01-25T11:19:00.002+11:00

.. and I promise I won't talk about the Tote. Enough for now.

Four and Out

2010-01-22T11:29:00.001+11:00

Okay, you all must think I've become obsessed with this Tote business and you be right. I plan to make this my last post on the subject- at least for this week. I'm hoping my next Tote post will be entitled 'SAVED!!!'

Myf Warhurst had this to say in today's Age and it sums up very well -along with Marieke Hardy's article-the feeling of the Tote's closure.

It shows that the feeling of great venues closing are more than just losing a pub, it's losing much,much more.

The Tote-Part Three

2010-01-20T12:53:00.002+11:00

I can't believe how depressed I am about the Tote. It's got me thinking about my life. Is it a transistion period that life and the universe is forcing me to live an old lady existence? Or just that life as I know (knew) it is being taken over by greedy,self serving bastards who gentrify the areas we love with rampant conservatism?

In case you may have missed it, the 7.30 Report on ABC aired a story on the Tote last night. Good on you Channel 2.

To John Brumby and Co- go fuck yourselves. You go on about alcohol and violence.. your laws perpetuate it because it's profitable. To quote the late,great Bill Hicks -suckers of Satan's cock, each and every one of you...

More Tote

2010-01-19T10:29:00.002+11:00

I've been google-ing stories about the Tote and found a beautifully written piece by Marieke Hardy entitled 'The Slow Death of Sticky Carpet'.

Comedian Jimeoin once joked that being in the delivery room and watching, agog, as his wife gave birth to their first child, was 'like seeing my favourite pub burned to the ground.' It's the funniest thing he's ever said and therefore quite possibly plagiarised but he's certainly captured the horror of one thing at least - how deeply one feels the loss of a treasured watering hole.

More often than not these days local pubs are limping to their deaths via a series of turgid back 'n' forths in windowless government meeting rooms as opposed to exploding into flames, though the sentiment remains. Our locals define a neighbourhood, steeped as they are in liquor and lingo. When they've also played an important role in our musical history it only makes the bereavement more devastating.

And yet another one has left us, another solid little perfect corner shop of splintered music and barmaids with spectacular bosoms and dangerous sneers.

The glorious Tote hotel in Collingwood, Victoria has closed its doors for the last time, with beleaguered nominee Bruce Milne bowing out with shrugs and sighs. This time it's not even some po-faced inner city resident shaking a fist from their well-manicured balcony and complaining about the noise (move out of the f*cking city then, you twit) that has crippled the place, but a government helpless to control that pulsating, seething morass of testosterone Australian capital cities fondly refer to as 'Saturday night'.

As ruddy men in Ed Hardy t-shirts while away languid weekend evenings in the CBD merrily shattering pint glasses into each others' faces, those in charge are responding the only way they know how: by penalising live music venues whose crowds consist mostly of sticky-limbed music nerds and one local drooling barfly who knows all the words to Dylan's 'Hurricane'.

It's a quick fix, and an idiotic one, like trying to reign in Japanese whalers by marching down to St. Kilda wharf and punching a fisherman in the face. I do hope Victorian Premier John Brumby feels as though justice has been served at last with such a particularly butch and vacuous solution. Perhaps he could celebrate with a mince tart and a nice cold glass of Ribena, the chump.

The Tote hotel was never the prettiest of venues - in fact for the most part it was a stinking, sweaty bitch mistress, luring blinking punters in off Johnston Street with the promise of grubby sex in the toilets and twelve-minute guitar solos, and propelling them back out into the night with bleeding ear drums and the sort of blossoming liver problems once enjoyed by a young and wild-eyed Oliver Reed.

I loved it, helplessly, and was inextricably linked to the place through myriad channels - deep-set family connections, an abode I once resided in three doors down where late at night you could hear the speed metal bands rehearsing, and a long and involved music-obsessed adolescence spent variously staring up at the stage or dodging a lead singer's erratic strands of saliva.

I fell in love while the jukebox played Television's 'Marquee Moon', staggered around the speaker stack wearing a moth-eaten showgirl outfit, and watched the future husband of my best friend projectile vomit in front of an oddly impressed crowd.

Like anywhere that serves as a regular meeting place in one's early twenties it was the joint where we all got happily pissed and manhandled each other on the sticky carpet. And now it has been dragged to its death by tepid bureaucracy and a few rather dull scuffles over money. Nobody ever pulled out knives at the Tote, nobody pawed intrusively at passing women - AFL players weren't usually allowed in, anyway.

There will be recriminations on both sides of course, and finger pointing, and lengthy, smarmy form letters from local MP's who are 'deeply sorry' and 'aware of disappointment' and 'relaying my views, your concerns, and the concerns of the many others who have written to me today, to my colleague Tony Robinson MP, Minister for Consumer Affairs'.

In the end, does it do any good? Young men will continue to be knocked down to their deaths on cigarette-stained footpaths outside lairy nightclubs and one by one the damp, dark, unassuming live music venues where the most violent acts play out onstage between consenting adults will be quietly packed away and left behind. And eventually, state governments will no longer be able to swing their dicks around about which city has the most thriving arts scene, because there will no longer be any.

I'll miss the front bar of the Tote. The gaffa-taped barstools and the languid gazes across the pool table and that revolting, damp sensation of sodden elbows when ordering a round.

I'll miss sitting in my front window and watching the parade of beery rock 'n' roll types peacefully lurching down Wellington street on their way home.

But most of all I'll miss the chapter of time that the Tote hotel will forever possess within its walls - the piss, the pain, the boners, the lewd and bawdy celebration of a wild, musical youth.

And in years to come I suspect I will awaken from many a deep sleep with strands of those memories slipping through my fingers like the wind.

The End Of An Era

2010-01-15T15:59:00.004+11:00

I guess you've all heard the sad news that The Tote in Collingwood is closing this weekend. It's dodged a few bullets of late but this time, nothing can save it. Bruce Milne,owner of the Tote simply can't afford the money it's going to take to pay for the license and going back and forth to VCAT is not an option for him.

Some can argue that it's a stinky,ramshakle,sticky carpet pub and they would be right. The fact is, we need that stinky,ramshakle sticky carpet pub because it's so much more to people than just bricks and mortar. To many of us, it was a musical sanctuary where like minded people joined together to hear the same bands and drink a few beers. For those in bands, many of them got their start there. It was more than a pub, it was part of the community there. I can honestly say in all my years of going there, I have never seen a fight or even a shouting match. People of all walks of life went there. Even children and babies went there with their parents for the famous Wu B Que and various other barbeques held in the truly authentic beer garden. There was the tiki element of The Cobra Bar upstairs, where bands squeezed into that tiny alcove and hammered out a set despite the atrocious acoustics.

When those doors close, a million memories will be stored there. For me, it was the early nineties supporting bands like The Underground Lovers,The Fauves,The Glory Box,Autohaze,Rob Clarkson,Tlot Tlot and their ilk. Loading up the jukebox with coins and programming all our favorites songs - it was truly the best jukebox in Melbourne. Walking into the place and crawling out after too much to drink. Sitting on the toilet upstairs to find yourself shaking because of a death metal band playing downstairs. Being with friends and connecting with the music and the moonshine.

The Tote closing is not just closing a venue. It's so much more. The funeral is this weekend. I'll be heading down for a few drinks to bid the old girl farewell.

Vale Tote. You'll be missed.

Dinosauria;We

2010-01-15T10:31:00.005+11:00

Born like this

Into this

As the chalk faces smile

As Mrs. Death laughs

As the elevators break

As political landscapes dissolve

As the supermarket bag boy holds a college degree

As the oily fish spit out their oily prey

As the sun is masked

We are

Born like this

Into this

Into these carefully mad wars

Into the sight of broken factory windows of emptiness

Into bars where people no longer speak to each other

Into fist fights that end as shootings and knifings

Born into this

Into hospitals which are so expensive that it’s cheaper to die

Into lawyers who charge so much it’s cheaper to plead guilty

Into a country where the jails are full and the madhouses closed

Into a place where the masses elevate fools into rich heroes

Born into this

Walking and living through this

Dying because of this

Muted because of this

Castrated

Debauched

Disinherited

Because of this

Fooled by this

Used by this

Pissed on by this

Made crazy and sick by this

Made violent

Made inhuman

By this

The heart is blackened

The fingers reach for the throat

The gun

The knife

The bomb

The fingers reach toward an unresponsive god

The fingers reach for the bottle

The pill

The powder

We are born into this sorrowful deadliness

We are born into a government 60 years in debt

That soon will be unable to even pay the interest on that debt

And the banks will burn

Money will be useless

There will be open and unpunished murder in the streets

It will be guns and roving mobs

Land will be useless

Food will become a diminishing return

Nuclear power will be taken over by the many

Explosions will continually shake the earth

Radiated robot men will stalk each other

The rich and the chosen will watch from space platforms

Dante’s Inferno will be made to look like a children’s playground

The sun will not be seen and it will always be night

Trees will die

All vegetation will die

Radiated men will eat the flesh of radiated men

The sea will be poisoned

The lakes and rivers will vanish

Rain will be the new gold

The rotting bodies of men and animals will stink in the dark wind

The last few survivors will be overtaken by new and hideous diseases

And the space platforms will be destroyed by attrition

The petering out of supplies

The natural effect of general decay

And there will be the most beautiful silence never heard

Born out of that.

The sun still hidden there

Awaiting the next chapter.

Nicotine,Valium,Vicodin,Marijuana,Ecstasy & Alcohol

2010-01-13T09:22:00.002+11:00

... it will take this and more to get me through the rest of this week...

Who needs words when a shocker like this speaks volumes?

Whinge

2010-01-12T12:51:00.001+11:00

This weather brings out the worst in me. I hate it. Anyone who states 'the hotter the better' should be shot in the head.

Trying to exist in 43 degree heat (celcius not fareinheit my North American amigos) is near impossible and bloody frustrating. My hair is as frizzy as Yahoo Serious's do from the eighties and I feel about as sexy as a road fatality with cascades of sweat running down my face and body. Frocking up has become a nightmare and putting make up on is almost not possible due to said Niagara Falls on my face and the heat melting my cosmetics.

The only way to sleep is wrapped in a wet towel with the fan on you after downing several troughs of beer or/and cider. I drank 2 bottles of Monteith's apple cider (bloody lovely BTW) and it did fuck all. I think I just passed out due to sheer exhaustion.

Today is another 40 degree ball buster and I won't be leaving the building until much later when I hope the temperature has dropped 15 degrees and we hopefully have torrential,tropical rain. What a treat I'm gonna look in my red & white polka dot dress,cycling home-rain soaked... I can't think of anything better.

Just pray I don't get barbequed by lightning.

A Matter Of Opinion

2010-01-05T14:59:00.000+11:00

I logged into news.com and saw a headline about some star 'letting himself go'. Curiosity got the better of me to see who it was. The picture uploaded and it was the actor Gerard Butler. I feel the person who put this photo up stating he 'has let himself go' is more into boys who look like this;

Repeat after me.... "EWWWW"!!!

Now here is the said pic of Gerard Butler;

Now, I don't know about you, but the above look-six pack abs and waxed bodies on men- makes me puke. I like that GB is a bit paunchy, probably enjoys a pork chop or two, a plate of chips and a few troughs of fine lager and just relaxs. At least he's wearing boardies and not squeezing into a pair of dick dacks.

Thanks Gerard- you're a breath of fresh air. Not all women want a hairless little boy with abs. I like a man who's built for comfort, not for speed.

Vale Roland S Howard

2009-12-31T10:09:00.003+11:00

Roland S Howard, the Australian guitarist behind the Birthday Party, Crime and the City Solution, and These Immortal Souls — died early this morning (December 30) in a Melbourne hospital after losing a battle with liver cancer. He was 50.

According to reports, Howard had been ill for quite some time and had been awaiting a much-needed liver transplant. He had been forced to cancel several shows recently due to his illness, including one yesterday in Melbourne supporting the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

Howard began his career in the late ’70s with the band Young Charlatans and later the Aussie punk outfit Boys Next Door, a group that would eventually morph into the Birthday Party. With Nick Cave serving as the band’s front-man, the Birthday Party sparked an infamous career in the 1980s, filled with violence — both on and off the stage — as well as Howard’s unique combo of feedback-laden blues riffs and dissonant punk noise.

When the Birthday Party broke up in 1983, Howard went on to play in such groups as Crime and the City Solution and These Immortal Souls. He also collaborated with the likes of Lydia Lunch, Nikki Sudden, Einstürzende Neubauten and Henry Rollins, as well as lent his talents to Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds.

Along with music, Howard appeared in several feature-length films, such as Wim Wenders’ 1987 movie Wings of Desire, 1990’s In Too Deep and the 2002 vampire film The Queen of the Damned.

Howard’s most recent recording was the solo album Pop Crimes, which was released in October.

Rest In Peace Roland. You've left a musical legacy you can be proud of. Shivers will always be one of my favorite songs that you wrote.

Moving and Shaking

2009-12-29T14:21:00.002+11:00

We moved over the Christmas break. We're in and we are official suburbanites now.
I never want to move again. Unless it's to this place. I would LOVE to live here. Or here...

I'm dreaming of martini's whilst sitting by the pool in a 50's bathing suit and white cat sunglasses.
Mmmm that's the life for me....

Girl,Interupted

2009-12-23T10:41:00.002+11:00

I just feel like saying a few words on the passing of Brittany Murphy. Not that I was a huge fan or anything but she wasn't a bad little actress. Her role as Daisy Randone in the film Girl,Interupted was well played as the very disturbed girl with the eating /self harm disorder who is sexually abused by her father. The scene where she eventually ends it all is quite powerful. I also didn't mind her in the film 'Little Black Book' as the girl who comforts herself by singing Carly Simon songs.

Vale Brittany. I guess it was just your time.

An Early Christmas Present and Other Things

2009-12-21T10:08:00.003+11:00

Was woken up by a text message from my friend,Gayle yesterday morning advising me that our friend,Cathryn had gone into early labor. Cathryn's wish last week of 'just wanting to get it out now' came true.

At 2.21pm yesterday afternoon, Ned William Shelley was born. I will see them today.

MM is an aunty again.

Congrats Cathryn and Steve. Another welcome addition to our group.

Friday night was a HUGE night for MM... started off at Stacey's with a classic Martini before heading to the work Christmas do to soak up the bar tab and scoff some mini food down. Once I did that, I high tailed it over to the Bella Bar at Trades Hall for the annual Merry Twistmas shindig which was big fun. I missed the Greasy Hawaiians but the DJed music was fantastic anyway. After that ended, we went to a party at my old place in Collingwood for more beer and boogie-ing. I was pretty smashed at the point and sat down for a wee kip on the sofa. At around 3.30am, my friend Andreas dropped me off in the city where I got on the night rider bus back to Newport. I got the driver to drop me off at the station to get my bike only to find it gone! Thanks to the fucktard that has stolen my means of transport at a time when I cannot afford to buy another one. I only hope my contents insurance covers this once I get a police report. I hope the little c*nt who took my bike chokes on his own vomit and dies a horrible death. Or was hit by a truck whilst cycling off on my stolen cycle.

Saturday was a write off. I got to bed at around 5am (the birds were tweeting as I crawled under the covers).
I think I surfaced at around midday and relocated to the couch where I didn't move for an hour. My hunger got the better of me so I made a humongous pot of spaghetti putanesca and chowed down on that for the afternoon whilst watching Larry Clark's Wassup Rockers. Slow story but great punk music soundtrack.
Saturday night I glued myself together to go to Northcote Social Club to see the Lime Spiders who were actually pretty bloody good. I had only a coke and water- there was no way I was imbibing that night!

Yesterday after sitting around in my jim jams most of the day watching Gidget movies on channel Go, I got dressed and met up with Stacey and Holly for some vietnamese food and a girly catch up. I was home by about 8.45. Sarah sat on her laptop chatting to guys on Oasis Active and I watched a couple of episodes of Weeds followed by Sex and the City.

Here we are again. This week is going to be one of madness with Christmas and us packing and moving. I guess we just have to roll with it. I'll just channel my inner Joan and coast through it with peace and cocktails.

That'll do it.

Over Indulgence And Under Preparedness

2009-12-18T11:32:00.001+11:00

This time of year is mucho loco... we feel we need to go into hyper drive about everything. We run around like headless chickens spending money we don't have only to pay for it interest wise for the next year or five.

We also give ourselves permission to eat things we normally don't have. We also think it's okay to have it in mass amounts because hey, it's Christmas. We need to be reminded to be careful as our sensibilities go out the window as we have too many Martinis and see if we can empty enough beer cans to build a house.

This week, with the many morning teas we've had, I've eaten cheesecake,mince pies,gingerbread men and cheeseballs for breakfast. My snobby, foody self would normally baulk at this. However, after a few glasses of vino tinto last night, I'm feeling slightly seedy and therefore can ignore such things.

I am desperatly in need of another coffee and a bowl of noodles.
Then I can start drinking again.

More Tales From Flinders Street

2009-12-17T10:13:00.000+11:00

You all must be beginning to think I spend a lot of my time at the toilets at Flinders Street Station. It's just that 2 nights running, I've had to pass through there on my way home and due to the amount of water I drink, I needed to pee.

Whilst I was sitting there spending a penny, I as usual was reading the walls and took a few pics of the amusing ones. Yes, I always have my camera with me.

Clearly, she is a devotee of Facebook and/or Twitter

One female sees the positives in a bit of back door lovin'

Words fail me

The Writing's On The Wall

2009-12-16T12:09:00.001+11:00

If the graffiti on the wall of a cubicle of the women's toilets at Flinders St station is anything to go by, this is the latest prophecy:

Careful goths and home boys, you might be next...

A Blog For Sarah

2009-12-14T14:06:00.002+11:00

It Needs To Be Said....

2009-12-11T13:38:00.005+11:00

I hate Tony Abbott.

Someone should chop him up and feed him to the pigs.

A blog of note..
http://blogotariat.com/node/185114

And please don't show him in his budgie smugglers anymore. Some of us want to have sex again.

Stray Dogs And Insomnia

2009-12-11T12:41:00.001+11:00

Last night I got home from seeing Royal Crown Revue and was met at the gate by a dog that is not ours. She was a friendly thing, wanting to shake hands and have her belly patted. After doing this for a few minutes, I had to retreat due to exhaustion plus my high heels were killing me so I told her to go home. I went inside,told the housemate about the dog and she said that she'd been out there for a few hours. Realising she probably got scared during the storm and did a runner, we decided to hold her overnight and call the council to try and find the owner in the morning.

This doggy rewarded this lovely gesture by keeping me awake most of the night wanting to play and pacing back and forth to the water dish (loud drinker). By daylight, I figured she may need to get out and do her business,so I opened the front door and out she trotted. I went out to get her and she was gone. Oops.

Sarah went out the front to look for her and the lolly pop lady who stands out the front of our house (we live across from a primary school) said that a lady jogger came back and called the dog by name and she happily ran after her. At least we reunited them. Job done, I necked a couple of coffees and dragged my old bones into the office. I am craving a long kip and a bowl of soup.

Oh and looking forward to a dog free night... woof...

El Miercoles

2009-12-09T17:19:00.003+11:00

Today provided me with;

Winning the office trivia of a $50 Myer Voucher
Being nominated by my manager for being 'customer focused' and winning another voucher worth $20
Getting the house we applied for on Monday
A box of Haigh's berry chocs from the luvverly Bob
Two divine coffees from Brother Baba Budan
My iPod which 'died' yesterday miraculously started working again.

When I get out of here tonight, I'm off to tango to hopefully get some good dancing in and catch up with my tango gals. Tomorrow, I have a day off to piss fart around before glamming up and heading to The Forum to see the amazing Royal Crown Revue- woo hoooooo!
Watch this space for gig revue and quite possibly photos-depending on how they turn out. I can at least put up one's of Miss Stacey and I looking muy guapa. (copy,paste,put into spanish translation tool).

After wanting to do draino shots, I'm glad the sunshine's coming through. I'm a lucky lady.

Thanks life...

An Easy Life And A Peaceful Death

2009-12-08T13:00:00.003+11:00

Not gonna live here anymore

Holy fuckamole I've been stressed lately. My head feels like it's been in a vice lock. I've taken to practicing meditations that I haven't used in years such as the white light/black smoke one that I used when I was investigating Tibetan buddhism in the nineties. Not dissimilar to 'in with love/out with anger' except you visualise inhaling white light,the sun,anything bright and beautiful and when you exhale, you imagine streams of black smoke representing bad energy,negativity and anything that isn't working in your life that you're carrying around. Might sound very woo woo but it's effective if you really centre yourself.

I went home and told the dog my worries and she let me know in her own way that she understands and cares. Okay, maybe I'm deluding myself but it was comforting and she giving my nose little Ni Ni licks which is her way of giving your kisses- little sweetie.

Niña the dog and psychotherapist

I think this Thursday is looking good for a day off for rest. We have another house we want to check out and that night I'm going to see Royal Crown Revue with Stacey at the Forum- woo hoo! Can't wait for that!

The Fabulous Ms Stacey

So if you're wondering what the Milonguita has on her Christmas list, here it is;

Good times with chilled out friends
A house to move into soon with minimal fuss
A new job that pays more money
Peace and good will towards eligible men

Don't worry about me, I'm fine but I'm tired. Some time out on my own with fix it all. If Tuesday is my good news day, then Thursday will be a perfect day (queue Lou Reed).

"oh it's such a perfect day but I won't share it with you...."

Vuelvo Al Sur

2009-12-07T11:53:00.003+11:00

I was listening to this beautiful song on my iPod this morning. Written by Astor Piazzolla, it is a love song to Buenos Aires. It is covered by Gotan Project on their first album and they do indeed do justice to it.

Vuelvo al Sur,

como se vuelve siempre al amor,
vuelvo a vos,
con mi deseo, con mi temor.

Llevo el Sur,
como un destino del corazon,
soy del Sur,
como los aires del bandoneon.
Sueño el Sur,
inmensa luna, cielo al reves,
busco el Sur,
el tiempo abierto, y su despues.
Quiero al Sur,
su buena gente, su dignidad,
siento el Sur,
como tu cuerpo en la intimidad.
Te quiero Sur,
Sur, te quiero.
Vuelvo al Sur,
como se vuelve siempre al amor,
vuelvo a vos,
con mi deseo, con mi temor.
Quiero al Sur,
su buena gente, su dignidad,
siento el Sur,
como tu cuerpo en la intimidad.
Vuelvo al Sur,
llevo el Sur,
te quiero Sur,
te quiero Sur...
ENGLISH TRANSLATION

I return to the South

like one always returns to the love,
I return to you ,
with my longing, with my anxiety.
I carry the South
like a destiny of my heart,
I am from the South
like the melodies of the bandoneon.
I dream of the South,
a huge moon, the sky reversed,
I am looking for the South
the open time, and its thereafter.
I love the South,
its good people, its dignity,
I feel the South,
like I feel your body in intimacy.
I love you South,
South, I love you.
I return to the South
like one always returns to the love,
I return to you
with my longing, my anxiety.
I love the South,
its good people, its dignity,
I feel the South
Like I feel your body in intimacy.
I return to the South,
I carry the South,
I love you South,
I love you South...

MM needs a house

2009-12-03T16:14:00.001+11:00

Send your positive vibes my way so I can find one...

Thanks bloggers!

Merry Twistmas!

2009-12-02T16:03:00.002+11:00

Just got the email with the invitation attached for this year's 'Merry Twistmas' party that is thrown annually by Minister Anna - founder and dance instructor extrodinaire of Anna's Go Go Academy. Such a fun,well organised events and always well attended. We also have our work Christmas party on the same night so my plan is to first go to said work do, scull as many free drinks as I can slam down my gullet (along with a bunch of finger food) and then hot foot it over to Trades Hall at around 8.30. The Bella Bar is usually open till around 3am if memory serves so hopefully we will still be strolling,razzle dazzling and ponying till then!

As Anna herself says "good times!!!"

World AIDS Day

2009-12-01T12:40:00.004+11:00

Today is World Aids Day. It began on December 1, 1990. Don't think it's under control and going away. Every year, 2 million people die of AIDS related illness. It is not just the gay cancer anymore. People are still being as stupid as ever and thinking that they are bullet proof. I have a dear friend who can attest to that fact and has found out the hard way that you indeed are not.

Do your bit. Buy a red ribbon and practice safe sex. Buenos Aires raised awareness in 2005 by placing a ginormous pink condom over their phallac symbol, the Obelisk;

What will you do?

Hey I've just noticed that the intials for World AIDS Day is WAD... (I know,tiny things please tiny minds).

MoVember -Milonguita Style

2009-11-30T09:23:00.005+11:00

Bob growing for the cause and me with my faux mo at Brother Baba Budan

MM chanelling Salvador Dali

The real Sal Dal

My first faux mo-The Casanova.

The Mexican Bandito Mo. "Hey Meester, can I buy your seester"?

In the name of men's health and good fun, I got into the spirit of MoVember.. I managed to raise $250 from fake moustache sales and gold coin donations for casual dress day.
Variety is the spice of life -as the old adage says- so I had a couple of 'tash changes throughout the day. I even went down to my favorite coffee shop with my friend,Bob (with a real tasharooni) and got some froth on my mo. One guy walked in to get his coffee fix, looked at me,smiled and said "Niiice!"

If a gal like me can get attention with a hairy upper lip, maybe there's hope for me after all.

Friday.. I'm In Love...

2009-11-27T09:48:00.006+11:00

I'm wearing a moustache today. I look ridiculous but I don't care. I have encouraged our business unit to support Movember and I am backing it to the hilt. We went out and bought a heap of fake moustaches from the $2 shop and I'm selling them off for $3 a pop. Mixed reaction to it but a few people have got into the spirit of it. I think it's fun and hope more awareness is raised as well as funds for this very worthy cause. Speak up, menfolk,if you feel any sort of twinge that isn't right or if you are sad and confused. It's okay to do so. I'm wearing a moustache for you. Tonight is our fortnightly gathering of the 'girls who do cocktails and dinner'. One of us is newly single as of a week ago so we are now the 'single girls who do drinks and dinner'. We normally go to a different bar for drinks but she's still feeling out of it so we're going to her place. I'll make dinner and she'll mix the Old Fashioned's. Accompanied with bossa nova tunes on the record player (yes-vinyl people- for those under the age of 20- ask your mum and dad what they are)and good company, it should be a great night. My friend,Steve is starting a night at the Exford tonight and if I feel okay, I may drop in. He has sterling taste in music and it would be good to go out for a boogie. Tomorrow-the Hello Sailor vintage fair is happening at the Grace Darling hotel in Collingwood so I want to head down there to hopefully snaffle a few vintage goodies. I need a bit of jewellery and new belts. I am not allowed to buy any more shoes. I am on a self imposed shoe ban. I seriously own about 40 pairs including 7 pairs of tango shoes! Which is quite modest compared to a few tangueras I know. "Seven pairs? I mock you with your paltry amount of tango shoes!!" I'm wondering if my amiga Sabrina will need to add on a shoe wing to her new house in Maroubra that her and her novio recently purchased. So here we are again - fin de la semana-the weekend. Rest up,enjoy,eat,drink,love,dance,sleep and be safe.

Men's Causes And Why They Are Important

2009-11-25T08:58:00.005+11:00

There are 2 things that happen in November that warm my heart in the way of causes. One is Movember which is a fun way to raise awareness and funds towards prostate cancer and depression. Despite women's jokes about men, we do need them and we want them to be around. We want them to be healthy and mentally well adjusted. My friend Vicki never knew her father. When she was two years old,he started getting a pain in the old family jewels and ignored it. By the time one of his testicles was the size of a grapefruit,it was too late and he was dead 3 months later. It's all very well and good to be manly and no one wants to believe there is anything wrong with their bits (and I can attest to that)but WE ARE TALKING ABOUT CANCER!!! Another friend's husband was unwell last year and it ended up that he had a small tumour in one of his testicles. Luckily for him,they got it early and was able to remove it. He had a small amount of chemo and was given a clean bill of health not long ago. So, men of the world-look after your meat and 2 veg! Think of it as your Ferrari,your 59 Chevy Impala or your Mustang (personally I love an old Valliant). We women do love you and want you around. Who's gonna change the lightbulbs for us?

As for your mental state-very,very important. If you do your research on suicide,the rates on males doing the darstardly deed are way more than women. Women attempt suicide more than they do it. When men decide to end it all, they go all the way. No mucking about. I think it's sad that society thinks that 'big boys don't cry'and all that crap. Say what you feel and what you mean. Have a cry and talk to friends if you need to. If someone calls you a 'big girl's blouse' or a poof or whatever- who cares? A well adjusted healthy person is crucial for anyone to get through this thing called life (to quote His Purpleness).

Today is White Ribbon Day. If you are not aware of what this is, it is an initiative to stop men's violence against women. Whether it be physical,sexual,verbal or mental- it is not on. I have just read this excellent article written by Andrew O'Keefe (yes Mr Deal or No Deal)who is the chairman for White Ribbon Day. The statistics for women who die in domestic violence under the hands of a man is frightening. I'm glad such an initiative exists and it must be run by men for men. It's time to get these things out so that we can begin to change.

In the words of the great Martin Luther King Jnr;
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."

La Fiesta de Hispanica

2009-11-24T12:48:00.012+11:00

Las chicas con paella... The Uruguayan and The Aussie get up close and personal after snarfing an alfajore Sarah and Mags pose for a shot after food and sangria Sarah and Amanda snarfing yet more alfajores Sarah,Amanda and those alfajores... by god they are good. Booty shakin' action on stage The Johnston Street crowd at dusk

Dipping My Toes Into The Shallow End Of The Pool

2009-11-20T10:20:00.016+11:00

My last post was all about what I find disconcerting about all things 'general' Aussie male. Maybe it has left you thinking " what the fark do you like,MM?"

The fundamentals of honesty,sense of humour,kindness etcetera are important to me. The rest comes with getting to know someone (which is why internet,on line stuff will never really work for me). Meeting someone has to be a more organic process and if we say looks don't count, we are really kidding ourselves.

A lot of the time it involves nice guys wearing the wrong clothes and I will be the first one to tell you, I am a snob in that area (see previous blog). A picture tells a thousand words-as they say-so here's a few pics to show you what I mean;

A bit of a quiff- ooh yeah! Brylcreem:'a little dab will do ya!'

However, decent hair do's work for me. If you're losing it, don't try to over compensate by growing a ponytail. Ewww on so many levels.

Not always convenient or appropriate but I'm a sucker for a man in a well tailored suit- especially a la Italian 60's mod style. Great on guys who are slight of build and preferably in charcoal grey not taupe as illustrated).

The Modfather, Paul Weller.
Be still my beating Vespa.

Classic Ben Sherman and Fred Perry shirts (although the Modfather going blonde doesn't pop my cork at all)

Don Draper style (que ZZ Top's 'Sharp Dressed Man) This man can do no wrong-style wise. Personally, you wouldn't touch him with a barge pole- toxic boyfriend personified.

STYLE- Me encanta mucho!

She's Just Not That Into You

2009-11-18T11:01:00.007+11:00

Las chicas and myself were having a chat the other week about men and in particular-Australian men and the dodgy encounters we have had with them thus far in our lives. I can't speak for every woman on the planet but I can speak for myself and here are some of the things I've discovered in my time on the planet with said Aussie males;

Australian men seem to have a deep insecurity about themselves which is always masked by a macho bravado. Instead of approaching a woman and simply introducing themselves, they generally come out with something insulting,cliched or just plain uninspired. When they don't get the desired result,the woman usually ends up on the receiving end of verbal abuse or insults (fucking dyke,you're a dog and I was hard up,etc etc.)
Stalking a woman like prey all night whilst getting drunk and then expecting a result is just plain delusional. I was at a club one night and this guy seemed to be everywhere I was. After a few hours and much alcohol consumed, he approached me and said "So are we going home together or what?"I don't even remember my response- I just remember being horrified. I don't know what universe that line works in but perhaps the poor sod reads too many comics.
Tell an Aussie male what you want and he does the complete opposite. Somehow I don't think reverse psychology works here either.
Australian men don't talk about anything real. Conversation is banal and random. They need to discuss 'things' which generally don't involve any sort of personal feeling or emotion. If it's not about sport,cars or alcohol then they tend to be a bit lost.
Australian men tend to have a pack mentality- told that Ed Hardy t shirts,jeans and thongs with a faux hawk hair do is the thing and they all do it. With mobile phone glued to their ear muttering 'schweet maaate' at intervals into the handset.
Most Aussie men seem to be disconnected from their feelings. The macho bloke seems archaic in this day and age. Seeing packs of guys wandering around the city without girls cements this ideal- girls have wised up and won't take the shit anymore. I wish we were taught the 'smarten up or fuck off' attitude when I was in high school. Sexism was a ideal that we hated but thought we had to accept. Thank god for the wisdom of age.
Watching an episode of The Footy Show is proof that the Australian male is sorely lacking in anything intelligent. Billy Brownless is a gormless fool with NO clue about women or anything (then again he has a wife with 4 children between them-she probably has a few shots before sex and thinks of the cash he provides or at least I hope she does). Sam Newman - look up the word 'misogynist' in the dictionary and you'll find his picture there. He has no regard for women whatsoever. I don't know how Caroline Wilson does it-she will never respected for her thoughts and knowledge regarding football simply because she is a woman. I hate that any woman with any football knowledge is feared and shunned or she is treated like one of the boys.
I also hate it when a girl is a bit wild, a bit out there,that a man(of any nationality) thinks they have the right to mistreat them. Porno speak,slapping,biting etc is not acceptable unless of course the woman has asked for it. Take her lead and respect her. Even if it's a one night stand, there are rules. Same goes for meeting someone on line- unless she has invited it, sleazy talk is a no go -again-unless she has invited it. Consensual sleazy chat is fine.

Okay menfolk, before you start burning dog poo on my doorstep, I don't mean all of you. I am not a man basher. I love men and I know many Australian guys who do not fit the mold of what I have said thus far. However, I feel that I can speak generally in regards to my experience.

A few pointers lads- if you're interested.

When you see a girl in a bar,pub etc that takes your fancy, approach her and say hello. Ask her her name, how her night is. Don't go up and offer to buy her a drink- first thought a girl has is drink spiking or 'he's trying to get me drunk and have his way with me'. Sorry guys-sad but true. The mongrels of this world have made it hard for the nice guys (and they do exist-the nice guys that is).
Nothing wrong with wanting a one night stand but make sure it's right for both parties. Be respectful and yes,this works both ways. If she makes YOU feel uncomfortable- tell her or leave. Don't exchange numbers,etc if you don't want to go there again. Be honest and say you just wanted this night of fun and that's it. If she cracks it, it's her problem-not your's.
Safe sex. Needs to be said. Don't assume someone is safe just because they say so. No glove,no love.
If you do exchange numbers, answer texts or calls if she contacts you. Again,works both ways.
Try new things. Even dancing. Don't use the 'I've got 2 left feet' line if you've never danced before. Feel the fear and do it anyway. You might surprise yourself.

These are my thoughts and feelings- I don't profess to be right but it's something I've been thinking about and thought 'what the hell, blog it out'.

Opinions are good. Don't hate me for it. The Milonguita has spoken.

Beige

2009-11-17T10:46:00.004+11:00

That pretty much sums me up at the moment. Nothing bad is happening- I just feel beige. Need to get out and feel the red again. In the meantime, I'll set myself some beige projects to keep busy until I'm back in my crimson haze.... Back to beigey work....

Vale Richo

2009-11-13T12:24:00.004+11:00

I arrived at the train station this morning and saw the head line on the Herald Scum 'RICHO RETIRES' and I immediatly said 'NOOOOOOO!!! It can't be!!!" I alerted Nikki in disbelief.

Someone left The Age sports page on the train which confirmed that he has indeed retired.

I could do my research and go on about stats etc etc but I won't. I will miss going to the footy and seeing him out there. I don't care who you follow in footy- everyone loves him. I will miss him getting shirty when he misses a set shot, I will miss his goofy face when he doesn't. I will miss the way he runs and runs and runs. I'll miss those big hands taking a grab.

All the best you big,beautiful man. Richmond will never be the same without you.

A Link To The World...

2009-11-11T11:17:00.005+11:00

How special do I feel? I checked my gmail email last week and received an email with the subject 'Compliments on your blog'. I opened it to find the following email; Hi Milonguita, I just found your blog today. I have a project I am working on for a tango site, http://tangotix.com/. As one of our promotional tools we are planning to create a comical quiz about tango called something like "How big of a tango fan are you?". We are still working on the title... The style of your blog, and the way you write matches the style we are going for. I have been searching through A LOT of tango blogs, and they are all very lovely and some of them are written beautifully with a lot of detail and elegant prose, but for us, we would rather go for something catchy and funny to hold our quiz taker's attention. The way you write in your blog makes me think that you would be the perfect ally. We would like to find someone creative like you to write the quiz for us, and we could supply the graphics. We would definitely be able to give you credit on our website, and a link to your site from the quiz page, or even get you a discount to a Tango Show in B's A's. Feel free to let us know what you would be interested in. Let me know if you are at all interested in this fun little project. Hope the weather in nice in Melbourne! Lucy Ooh err! Colour me happy! I've been blogging on and off since 2004 more or less to entertain myself. I have received some compliments on my writings but sometimes you feel as if it's for naught. To be asked to write a quiz in my style is a great honour and a nice little ego massage for the Milonguita. I responded to her email with a resounding yes and have scrawled a few ideas which I will email back to her today. It doesn't mean cash (the offer of a free show is lovely but it would be better if it came with return flights to LA and BA) but the recognition of my blog is rather nice. Makes you feel your words are worth something. If you go here you can see my link! Call me Miles Davis and Louis Armstrong because this girl's blowing her own trumpet...

Some Like It Hot

2009-11-10T08:58:00.001+11:00

...but I don't. Fuck off early Summer.

The House Of Sick

2009-11-09T08:49:00.004+11:00

Don't come to our house- there's an ill wind that blows no good (as the old jazz standard says). I woke up on Saturday morning feeling like total crap. I went as far as Vinnies in Mason St and went back home to bed. Spent the rest of time riding the gravy train. Moved my old carcass to the couch and stayed there all night watching telly. I better have lost weight. Woke up yesterday morning feeling better, just weak from all the lying around I'd been doing. By last night, I was feeling great. Then my housemate,Sarah starting doubling over, saying her guts were giving her grief and then spent the rest of the night driving the porcelain bus. We've been trying to assess what has made us both feel so crappy. I think mine was due to my overindulgent evening on Thursday. As for Sarah, it could have been the crap coffee we picked up on the way to the market or all the fruit she sampled at Little Saigon market. Then again, we were watching Australian Idol at the time which says a lot....

Boys and Girls

2009-11-06T14:58:00.006+11:00

A short while ago, I posted this blog regarding Chastity Bono, first born and daughter of Cher and Sonny Bono. Flipped on Entertainment Tonight on Tuesday afternoon to see the exclusive interview with Chaz Bono. Chastity recently went 'gender reassignment' surgery (an old skool 'sex change') and she is now a he. He is happy that his outside now matches his inside. Reminds me of story I read in Rolling Stone a couple of years ago about Larry Wachowski of The Matrix fame. He was rumoured to be wanting GR surgery (didn't do it). He met a dominatrix -Ilsa Strix-in a bondage dungeon (whilst dressed as his female alter ego,Lana) who was married to Buck Angel who is known in the porn industry as 'the dude with a pussy'. She left Buck for Wachowski (gold digging whip lady). I became a bit facinated by Buck because you would never guess he was a she. I hope this doesn't come across as mean. It must be very confusing and painful to feel like a man and feel trapped in the body of a woman or vice versa. Having said that, I love being a woman and have never wished to be anything else. I love shoes,red lippy, French perfume and all those typical things that are totally girly. Even if I was walking around Bama Lama on Saturday night swigging from a Coopers long neck.....

About Last Night...

2009-11-06T09:50:00.002+11:00

I love Lloyd Cole. I do. His music is the cheese to my macaroni. If I was still of child bearing age and hadn't had my lady bits removed a year ago, I'd have his babies.

Yes Lloyd, I'm Ready To Be Heart Broken

2009-11-05T11:04:00.005+11:00

Lloyd Cole tonight- finally!

He's playing at the Thornbury Theatre which I've heard is lovely. It's also giving me the opportunity to catch up with my friend,Tanya whom I literally haven't seen in ages. We have much to catch up on as well.

Checked Lloyd's weblog and he's posted his setlist for this evening-bless. No support act-complete Lloyd. All killer and no filler.

Here's his setlist for this evening's aural sex;

1.29

2.Tower of Song

3.Rattlesnakes

4.If I were a song

5. Pay for it

6. My Other life

7. Don't Look Back

8. Woman at a Bar

9.Butterfly

10 Late Night Early Town

11. Morning is Broken

12.Old Enough to Know Better

13. That Boy

14. Why I love Country Music

15. No Blue Skies

Interval

16.Are Your Ready to Be Heartbroken

17.Like Lovers Do

18. What's Wrong with this Picture

19. Cut Me Down

20. Broken Record

21.Trigger Happy

22. Music in a Foreign Language

23. Chinese Translation

24.Brand New Friend

25. No More Love Songs

26. Please Don't Tell me How he Story Ends

27.Lost Weekend

28. The Young Idealists

29. Perfect Skin

30. Unhappy Song

31. 2CV *

32. Undressed

Bring it on.

* This song title has been a mystery to me for 25 years. A 2cv is a model of Citroen and is short for 'deux chevaux vapeur' which is French for 'two steam horses'.

I only found this out today! Forgive my lack of car knowledge.

A Little Buenos Aires On A Saturday Night

2009-10-26T11:20:00.013+11:00

"Buy me what I want or you lose an eye!" Eugenio y Fernando with la torta de cumpleanos Cake and sparklers La Milonguita con un copa de vino Malbec.. muy bien!

Sarah y Eugenio

My housemate, Sarah has just begun dating a man from Uruguay. It was his birthday on Saturday and he kindly invited us both to his birthday shindig which was held at El Gaucho Argentinean grill on Nicholson St, Nth Carlton. It was nice to be surrounded by Argentinos and South Americans in general again.

Sooo good to eat parrilla again! My bife de chorizo wasn't as good as I hoped it would be as it wasn't cooked 'a punto' (medium rare). I did try something that I didn't when I was in B's A's and that was the offal platter. It wasn't too bad but I found I couldn't eat that much of it and also tried the famous morcilla (blood sausage) which is actually quite tasty!

I was meant to meet up with other people at Yah Yah's in Collingwood to see The Shimmys final gig but I was having such a good time at El Gaucho, I sent a text and cancelled. The group of people were all so friendly and I was enjoying the conversation and natural warmth of the people there. I'll definatly go back there to try other cuts of meat and throw back a few more glasses of that fabulous Malbec...

Tattoo Mystique Opening At Outre Gallery, Melbourne

2009-10-15T11:17:00.015+11:00

Angelique and The Milonguita Out on the street with AH The girls chatting up Angelique whilst she has a smoko

The Artist Currently Known As Angelique delighting the fans

Outre curators Gemma Jones & Martin MacIntosh get the cash flow happening with Anglique's latest book and other merch. Breathe Gemma!

The queue for Tattoo Mystique- Angelique's second book thru Outre

Punters surrounded by the great works of Shag,Glenn Barr,Richie Fahey and Niagra whilst chilling out with a few Heinekens.

More punters and great art

No room to swing a cat

One of Angelique's latest-an original and sold before exhibition. I had to get a pic with it. Love this one a lot. Future tattoo perhaps??

The works of Ms Houtkamp

Angelique Houtkamp-She's Baaaack!!

2009-10-07T17:28:00.012+11:00

Oh yes! The queen of tattoo fabulous will be at Outre Gallery this weekend showcasing her new collection and book 'Tattoo Mystique'. I can't wait to see if I can meet her and get a pic of her looking at my tattoo that is HER design- I hope she loves it as much as I do-although I don't feel that is possible.

Hogar Dulce Hogar!

2009-10-05T15:51:00.002+11:00

I'm in. I finally have a place to call home. Not sure for how long but I'll take it. Now living with Sarah and Nina the dog. So far, so good. Come visit me in our little corner soon, peeps.

Me No Gusta

2009-10-01T10:57:00.006+10:00

I've been in a snit lately. Someone's slipped me worm sandwich. I've been trying to think of good things to write about but I've been in such a dark mood, all I can think of are things that annoy me. So I thought-why not just make a list of things I don't like and just get my ya ya's out? Here's my list in no particular order;

David Koch and Mel Doyle
Suburbia
Most television
Conservatism
Politicians
Whingers (a bit rich considering this sounds a bit whiney)
Comic Sans Font
Modern day 'fashion'
Bad Manners
Fast Food
Guys who wear their jeans at half mast revealing undies and arse crack
Crap beer
McDonalds
Andrew Bolt
Daryl Somers
Top forty shizen music
Bad coffee
People with no imagination
Wankers
Hippies
Corporations
Cliches
The fact that my mum never shuts the fuck up
High rentals in good areas thus not allowing me to live alone on my crap salary
Spiro from the FSU for not giving me a job that should have been mine
Stupid interviewing techniques that some fucked up Americans thought is the way forward for employing people. Kill it.
The guy who was meant to have moved out of the house I'm moving into a month ago thus causing me to be homeless longer than I needed to be. You had better be out by Monday you fucker or I'm coming after you with a baseball bat.
That I'm not in Buenos Aires
That I'm still working here
Docklands
Chain Stores
Krispy Kreme
Tabloid Magazines
The Herald Sun
The fact that Richmond never win
My life at the moment

Seperated At Birth?

2009-09-28T12:28:00.005+10:00

Bob Davis and Grandpa Munster- who knew?

Newport, New Beginnings?

2009-09-25T10:22:00.003+10:00

"Sometimes I feel like a motherless child, a looooong way from hoooommme"... That old negro spiritual seems to befit me of late. I've been living like a hobo since my return from Buenos Aires and it's really giving me the shits. I've just finished my week in the 'Burg and am supposedly moving to my new digs in Newport. Problem is, the person who is meant to be gone is not. He's taking his sweet ass time about finding a place of his own and it's driving me nuts. Sarah will be in Sydney this weekend and I'll stay there to look after her dog. I'm assuming he will still be there. Maybe I should just say "Hi, I'm Maggie. Now get the fuck out!" Wonder if that would work? Perhaps not. Some people dream of winning lotto and never working again. I dream of my own room, a bed and a cupboard to put my clothes in. As they say, the simple things in life are often the best. I'm sick of living out of frigging suitcases and various other bags- I want a wardrobe goddamn it! Okay, enough of the negative crap. I don't want to dwell in that neighbourhood. Caught up with Caroline, one of my tango friends last night which usually consists of us going for a pedicure. Tango and tango shoes do untold damage on the footsies so regular maintenance is necessary. Post pedicure, we took our thonged feet to a bar on Chapel St (classy as) where they served a rather nice house red for $3.00 a glass! After 2 glasses and a D and M, we trammed it down to Victoria St where we met my friends Contessa and Mr Ian for some rather tasty Vietnamese food. Caroline had to dash early to get her bus (we are kindred spirits at the moment- both of us are 40 somethings living at home with our mums due to inability to find decent housing) and I stayed and had a great catch up with Ian and Tess. They very nicely drove me back to Coburg and I flaked out on the couch due to much food and 4 glasses of wine! I think I'm becoming a lightweight in my old age... then again, 2 glasses of red on an empty stomach isn't a great idea! Looking forward to watching what I feel will be a great game for the Grand Final. I'm going for the Saints. I feel more of an affinity towards them than the Hand baggers but I feel the Cats will not rest on their Abletts this year. Also looking forward to frocking up and heading out to Messaround and Bama Lama- last time I went I was jetlagged to the max so I want to try and go all out this month! It's such a great night! Fantastic music and a room full of well dressed people-I love it!

Is There A Point To This?

2009-09-24T16:46:00.004+10:00

Not sure if this is a shame o meter or a slut o meter. Whatever it is, it couldn't help me. I think the Age must be scraping the bucket for a story.

I Was Wondering....

2009-09-23T17:03:00.003+10:00

If Cher is disappointed that her daughter is a truck drivin' dyke?

Another Year Older & Just As Loved

2009-09-21T13:40:00.004+10:00

It was my birthday yesterday and I'm another year older. My knees hurt. I ended up spreading birthday celebrations across the whole weekend! It became that way due to friends wanting to spend it with me but unable to see me yesterday so this is how it panned out; FRIDAY NIGHT: Decided to have dinner and drinks at the Edinburgh Castle as it seemed to be a good night for everyone for a birthday celebration. It was also my friend Jim's CD launch so it meant bringing a few more bodies for support. Jim was fantastic and I got to see a few people that I hadn't seen in ages. Post CD launch, a few of us trundled down to the Retreat for an excellent night of booze and boogie-ing to the likes of the Pixies,Clash,Pogues,Specials et al. Happy days. Jo and I crawled back to her place at 2.45am and crashed. After 3 weeks of couch surfing, a bed was a welcome relief. SATURDAY: Jo and I woke the next morning feeling rather seedy so a good greasy breakfast was needed. After a coffee at home and a good shower, we got in the car where she shouted me breakfast at my favourite breakfast spot, El Mirage. Steve,Cathryn and Thanh were there having breakfast as well. We were all craving the 'Gringo' -poached eggs,tex mex beans,bacon and cottage potatoes- YUM. Not to mention one of the best coffees in East Brunswick. After that, Jo dropped me back home where I had a kip on the couch as I was muy cansada (knackered). After consuming (snarfing) a divine roast cooked by my lovely sister, I dollied up and headed out to attend 'Milonga Para Los Niños' - a night to raise funds for an orphanage being built in Argentina. I'd love to say I had a kick arse night but if it weren't for the presence of Sabrina,Ralph,Melanie and a few others, it would have been a bit of a downer. It was nice to frock up in my latest vintage frock purchased from an antique store in San Telmo, BA , give my new red hair a 40's style 'do and wear my outstanding tango shoes from Gretaflora but besides that, lack lustre. Was glad to get home and crash on yet another couch-this time, Mel and Pepijn's. SUNDAY: Woke up to find Baci staring at me with those huge eyes of her's. She has the squeakiest meow of any cat I've ever known. Mel and Pep got up not long after that and after cleaning up and having coffee, we headed to Brunswick St for brunch at the Provincial where we met up with the Buenos Aires posse and a few other friends for a lovely afternoon. Said goodbye to Ralph and Sabrina and headed back to Richmond to pick up my stuff from Mel & Peps before making my way to mum's for birthday dinner. After that, my sister dropped me off in Coburg where I have begun a week long houseminding stint. Hallellujah! Just me and the cat being lazy till Friday! I do like the northern suburbs. If it doesn't work out with Sarah in Newport, I'll definatly be looking for digs there. Me gusto mucho. Here we are again on Monday. I'm feeling good and positive about this week. Going to try and keep it low key- no going out until Saturday night. Mess around and Bama Lama on the same night and I want to go to both. Should be a rip snorter!

Ch Ch Ch Changes

2009-09-18T11:18:00.002+10:00

It's official. I'm now a ranga... and I'm moving to Newport.

I'm hoping for domestic bliss and non fading colour.

Yes, they are beach umbrellas in the background. Don't ask.

And no, we don't get pina coladas or Mai Tai's.

Back In Slack

2009-09-02T11:45:00.008+10:00

MM with Luciano,waiter extrodinaire from Del Plata

All good things must come to an end. Yes folks, I have returned from BA and now sitting at my desk in grey old Docklands, looking at Etihad Stadium and not really knowing my arse from my elbow.

I'm tired, still slightly jet lagged, at the tail end of a cold and still living out of suitcases due to my still homeless situation. I'm couch surfing at my sister's and I'm already getting sick of it. Time to find a place to call home, even if for only a short while. I need a bed and a wardrobe. I've come back to a pile of work so this is just a blog to let you know where I am. I'm trying not to be sad about leaving Argentina but I have to admit it's hard. I will start to throw myself into new endeavours and seek new opportunities. There's no point being morose and besides, I can always return which I plan to do. This time I'll be armed with more cash and the Spanish language. Both help a lot. In the meanwhile, I'll get my brain back, a room with or without a view and get my life back on schedule.

My Last Day & Night in Buenos Aires

2009-08-26T07:16:00.003+10:00

A stunning day here in Buenos Aires. Sun shining and Jose singing in the hallway. How quickly time passes yet, I feel like I've been here for ages. I can't believe I'm leaving tomorrow. Can't someone just stuff wads of cash into my account for the rest of my life so I can stay here? I almost didn't get out of bed this morning. My head feels like it's going to explode. I took a couple of paraceutemol, took a long,hot shower and lay down for a bit. I realised yesterday that I hadn't been to La Boca and despite it's reputation and being overly touristy, I felt my pilgrimage wouldn't be complete without going. So I hopped into a cab and went there. Yes, touristy and tacky. I was able to do some last minute shopping and after being pimped and prodded I cabbed it back here to San Telmo. Just making a bit of pasta as a hole filler before I have my last beef supper downstairs with the beautiful people of Gran Parrilla Del Plata. They have been so good to me-then again I give them pretty good tips! It's nice that I have been treated kindly by the fabulous people of Buenos Aires despite the language barrier. I can't express how much I will miss this place. I was going through the things I bought as souvineers for everyone and realised I hadn't bought anything for myself in the way of snow cones, statues, etc etc. Then I thought about it and came to the conclusion that Buenos Aires can't be summed up for me that way. I've taken many photos of different things to try and capture a feeling. This is what I will take back to Australia with me- the magic and warmth of the portenos and the spirit of BA. Plus 6 pairs of tango shoes. Off to my last milonga tonight. I'm tossing up between Bohemia and Tango Queer- only because the latter is a 2 minute walk from where I'm staying. I'll see if I have the strength to fit both in! This is my last post in this magical city. Next time I write, I guess I'll be at my computer at work dreaming my way back to Argentina.

The Buenos Aires Crud

2009-08-25T04:38:00.003+10:00

It's official- I have a cold and starting to feel like crap. Nearly everyone I know who comes home from a stint in Buenos Aires does so with a cold and I am no exception. I thought it would hit me once I landed in Melbourne but it's got me now. With all the running around I'm doing plus inhaling the 'Malos Aires' (bad airs), the BA crud has knocked me for six. I ended up going to a milonga last night called 'La Milonguita'!! How's that? The Milonguita went to La Milonguita and had a sensational time. I arrived there after everyone else and was pleasantly surprised to see Hugo Daniel and his lovely novia, Antoinella there. I was able to have 2 dances and spend Sabrina,Ralph,Daniel and Erica's last night in BA with them. Such a nice milonga- great atmosphere and delightful people. Even the waitress was friendly and gave us hugs and kisses on our departure. I had my private class with Aurora and it was amazing. She was impressed with my progress and I told her I tried to implement what she taught the group last Tuesday when I went dancing. Aurora also designs and sells her own line of tango shoes so I bought a pair off her! I know, I know. That's it- six and out! After her class, I walked down to Gallerias Pacifico for Hugo's class and again, amazing. Hugo and Aurora used to be partners and broke up but their style of teaching is the same. Simple and effective. Both know how to teach and work with people. I have a confidence in my tango that I've never experienced before. It helps that there is so much tango here and you're able to put into practice what you've learned every single day. So, back at the ranch. I'm going to have a shower and a kip. I really need to rest if I'm gonna make it home in one piece plus have the energy to do a couple more milongas. Once I get back to Melbourne, I'll be giving tango a rest so I won't be disappointed so quickly when I'll have deal with the push/pull/race me around the floor style dancing that Australian men think is tango. I can live without that for ooh-let me -see...FOREVER!

Dulce De Domingo

2009-08-24T08:10:00.006+10:00

Sunday evening and I'm sitting on my bed eating a plate of pasta. I gave some to gorgeous Nahuel on the front desk and he has just come in to say thanks and give me a peppermint choccie. Little sweetheart. I had a bit of a sleep in, then headed to La Poesia for my de riguer cafe con leche y tres media lunas. I then walked down to catch the E line at Bolivar subte out to the last station and caught the train to the last stop and taxied it out to Feria de Mataderos. It's a Sunday market with gauchos and folkloric dancing and the ubiquitous asados. Very fun. I spent about 2 hours walking around and buying a few things. I ate a dulce de leche wafer and it was soooo good. Ran in the opposite direction to stop myself from gettting more. I don't know how this nation don't have arses the size of the Teatro Colon eating that stuff all the time! I look at the jar and gain 5 kilos! I was told that bus number 126 takes you all the way there and all the way back. I heard the people next to me speaking english so I asked if I could share a cab with them. The woman said it was okay provided we could get one. Listening to her rabbit on, I realised this might be the cab ride from hell. Salvation arrived in the form of the 126 bus so I ran for the bus instead. I reached into my purse to get coins for the machine. I didn't have the $1,10 required and was waiting for the driver to stop the bus and point to the door. Instead, he just waived me through with a smile. Nice! May that man win lotto this week! Not only did the bus go via San Telmo, it stopped right outside my door! Wish I'd known that this morning- could have saved me some time and money. Then again, I would have missed out on my flirty cab ride with Javier the taxi driver! Back in San Telmo, I dropped my stuff and headed down to Defensa again to check out the market. Soooo many people as it's a beautiful day today so they were out in droves

(and probably still are). Got to photograph the batucada band this time and they sounded even better this week. I bought a few more things but 2 crowds at markets at one day was a touch overwhelming for me so I called it a day and came back here to make my pasta. I went to the Milonga de la Consagrado which was held at Nino Bien last night and it was amazing. I managed to score 5 fabulous dances and got to meet a blog friend, Tango Cherie (hi Cherie!). Post milonga-which ended at 10.30pm, I came back to the hostel, went to Del Plata for dinner and then went to bed. There was really no point in going to a milonga alone and watching everyone dance. I felt sated from the one I went to and thought I should stop while the going was good. One night of great dancing and fabulous food and wine in my belly was all this girl needed. I think I'm coming down with a cold. It seems everyone I've known who has come to Buenos Aires has arrived back in Melbourne with a cold or flu of sorts and I guess I won't be exempt. I don't think I can be bothered going out tonight. I know I should be making the most of my last days here but I'm really tired. I can't stop thinking of a hot shower and getting under the covers- even though it's only 7.35 pm! It isn't even dinner time in this town! I have a private lesson with Aurora tomorrow so maybe I should stay in and rest for an hour of intense training! Watch this space to see what I ended up doing...

Ultimo Sabado en Buenos Aires

2009-08-23T05:12:00.002+10:00

Another glorious day in this fabulous city. I'm sitting on my bed with the balcony door open and listening to the sounds rising up from the street. All the cafes are chockers with people dining and enjoying being away from work. I'm fighting the urge to sleep as there's a milonga I want to go to and this is my last opportunity. I can sleep later. Saturday night is date night in Buenos Aires so chances of getting a dance tonight are buckleys and none. All the men dance with only their wives or girlfriends and that's just the way it is. The milonga I'm going to is a bit different and seems to be the only one on a Saturday where a single person be it man or woman can get a dance. I'm trying to get as much tango in before I have to come home as I know I won't have it again- at least until I return which I very much plan to. Dancing tango back in Australia will be even more disappointing and frustrating that ever now. I will miss the way the men hold you and glide you effortlessly around the floor. I think I'll need a break from it when I return but for now, I'm going hard core! I had my class with Graciela Gonzales the other night and it was fabulous. It was amazing to see two women teach a class on technique for couples rather than the usual dictorial male with female accompanyment. It was easy to understand (despite the whole lesson being in Spanish) and they teach very well. This morning I had another class with Aurora who teaches technique for women and she is just the best. I'm looking forward to my private class with her on Monday. Hopefully she can iron out my mistakes and I can keep practicing to perfect the art of balance and posture. My Americano friend, Joey left today to move to Maderos, which is another part of Buenos Aires. He's been great to chat to while I've been here. We've exchanged email addresses and will keep in contact. This hostel has been amazing. I've got a huge room with a double bed and a balcony that lets me people watch to my heart's content. The domestic staff come in everyday to change and make my bed and clean the room. All this for only 80 pesos a night. There is hardly anyone here due to it being low season so it's really quiet. Everyone that works here is fantastic. I think I'm going to have a little siesta and then get ready to check out this milonga in Congreso for a short while. I hope to get a couple of dances and then meet up with Sabrina y Ralph for a nice dinner somewhere and then onto another milonga to watch the couples dance the night away. I guess observation can be a good teacher as well. I have to enjoy each moment while I have the opportunity as this time next week I'll be waking up in Melbourne and not Buenos Aires.

Carlos Gardel y Margarita

2009-08-21T07:39:00.004+10:00

I fully intended to keep this blog up by uploading pics and writing a little blurb each day on my time here in Buenos Aires but I guess I've busier than anticipated. I've also used the time that I thought I would write on siestas and usually when I awake, I get out and find dinner. Not quite dinner time here so I thought I'd catch up on some details. Since I last wrote, I've done 3 amazing classes. First with the incredibly talented (and muy guapo) Hugo Daniel on basic tango technique then with a woman named Gabriella who is a specialist in a technique called milonga con traispie (milonga rhythm with 'tripping'-). A bit hard to explain this one but it's not easy but amazing to learn and do. The following night, Di organised a class for all the Australian women to have a class with Aurora who is great at correcting posture and showing you the basics in tango which are a lot harder than one would imagine. I was all over the shop but towards the end started getting a bit better. I've booked a one on one class with her this coming Monday and I know it will be worth every peso. Also on Tuesday in the afternoon, I was in Centro wandering around and there were buskers doing street tango. I had my shoes with me as I was going to a class and they asked if I did tango. I said 'si' and he got me up for a spin. It was hard to swivel in my street shoes (should have put my jazz sneakers on at least) but it was a lot of fun and a good laugh. I have photos to remind me. Yesterday, I taxied it over to Chacarita Cemetary to see the final resting places of some of my favourite tango muscians; Carlos Gardel, Osvaldo Pugliese, Carlos Di Sarli and Anibal Troilo. Lots of great and cheesy pics especially with Gardel who always had a cigarette between his fingers. I bought a packet of ciggies and a lighter just so I could do this as well! My bus/tour guide chico took me around specially and took all my photos. I wasn't going to stand up on the tomb but he was pointing and saying 'arriba!' (up) so up I got. Glad I did because it made for better pics. We went to a gay milonga after dinner last night and the dancing between the men was sensational. I had one horrible dance with a tourist who was in one of my classes the other day. Shocking- felt like I was back in Melbourne being shoved around. What is it with guys who don't understand the simplicity of the social dance? Why must they try every single step and manouvre they've learned in one dance? Mucho frustrado. I had a quiet-ish one today and caught up with Ralph and Sabrina in the afternoon. We went to La Poesia for coffee and media lunas first and then we walked to Centro to check out the free tango stuff at Harrods. Gretaflora shoes had a stall there and I bought a beautiful green pair for 250 pesos which is nothing- Gretaflora can be a bit expensive normally and their shoes are gorgeous. I have now purchased 5 pairs of shoes! That's actually modest compared to Sabrina who is up to 12 and still going! Tonight I am having a class with Graciella Gonzalez which will be a dream come true. Dianne has told me about her for ages and how amazing her technique is, especially with women. What hooked me was an ad I saw in one of the free tango magazines someone brought home with them. Most tango teachers do standard tango poses in full dress. Her ad was a picture of her sitting on a bench with her cat. She was wearing fluffy slippers and smoking a ciggie. I saw that and said 'she's for me!'. That unpretentious picture spoke volumes to me. Let's hope I do okay and benefit from her knowledge. I will find it hard to leave this little pocket of Buenos Aires that I've come to know and love in such a short time. I've been to the restaurant downstairs so often they greet me at the door with kisses and joy. They call me part of their family. I will miss them all so much. I'm still here and will be for another five days so I'll enjoy every moment and just go hard core with everything I love about this place.

Lazy Sunday In San Telmo

2009-08-17T07:42:00.003+10:00

One week on in Buenos Aires... I may never leave! After a mad week of milongas,classes,touristy bits and shoe shopping, I woke up this morning and decided to have a quiet one today. We went to a milonga last night that took us half an hour in a cab to get there and it wasn't very good. Very cliquey and snooty and we were wondering who you had to fuck to get a dance. We went there because David and Di were asked to perform there and we were told it was quite an honour as some of the best dancers and teachers go there. The women on the door were bitches and the milonga is held in a decrepit basketball hall. There was a storm last night (wicked!) and the rain was coming in through the roof! Anyway, we did it for David and Di and they were grateful to us for the support. I got back to my room at 5 am and was shattered. I was meant to go on a boat ride to Tigre but it was raining and windy. Luisa said it was a bad day for it so I rang the gang and let them know that I would be a no show for the day excursion. I really needed a day to myself. After breakfast and only 4 hours sleep, I decided to come back to bed and have a few more hours! I woke up and went for a walk a couple of streets from here to Defensa, where they have a street market. It was packed with people and the usual handicrafts that I've seen everywhere. I bought a couple of things and then sat at a corner cafe to have a cafe con leche and an empanada. There was a Mapuche couple playing indiginous instruments on the other corner and it was lovely. They played to a backing track and one of the tunes is a song from 'Y Tu Mama Tambien'. I sat there thinking what a perfect moment it was- listening to this music and enjoying my coffee from a corner in Buenos Aires. After my coffee, I wandered back the other way and noticed a batucada group about to start on a corner so I stayed to listen to them and they were amazing! I love batacada (Brazilian drums) and after donating 5 pesos to them, I stayed to have a little boogie! Too bad I forgot to take my camera as it would have made a great photo. Markets are a prime target for tourists to be pick pocketed so I took minimal cash with me and left my camera back here. So, back in my room, being lazy again and wondering where I'll go for dinner. I've had dinner downstairs most night because it's fantastic and also very convenient but I need a break from parilla and might try another place I discovered around the corner called La Poesma. I'm off to Torquato Tasso tonight which is the first milonga I went to- it was a good one and you seem to get dances there. Let's hope the strike rate is good again! I went to 2 milongas on Friday- one at Confiteria Ideal and another one that was just out past the one we went to last night and I had dances at both. At the second one, I only danced with this guy named Victor who my amigos were convinced wanted to come home with me! He danced with me a lot even though our first dance was clunky and he kept putting his arm around me. He was quite attractive-he looked Mapuche- but the language barrier makes things a bit difficult! He was a beautiful dancer but most Argentino men are. I wonder how I'll ever go to a milonga or practica in Melbourne again. I've been so spoiled here and loathe the thought of going back to Australian men who rush you around the floor and push your arm like you're a poker machine! The weather up until now has been warm and almost Summer-like but we had a massive storm last night and today has been very chilly. It's the first time I've had to wear my coat which I think I'll be taking tonight as well. I think I may also make it an alcohol free night as it's been constant with drinking every night although I haven't really been drunk. It's not the done thing here and you wouldn't risk it as a tourist. You can get a drink anywhere- I bought a beer from the milk bar across the road! You can get wine and spirits as well. A bottle of water and a bottle of beer cost the same price. Okay, off to shower and get ready. I'm getting hungry and need food. Pictures soon- I promise!

Cementerio de la Recoleta and Furry Friends

2009-08-14T13:55:00.009+10:00

Spent the afternoon at this amazing place. Here's me at the front of Eva Peron's tomb at Recoleta Cemetary. Surprisingly modest compared to other people's crypts. This place is like a suburb and the some of the tombs are bigger than peoples houses! I guess there's still money in this town despite the crash of 2002 and the devalued peso. I've been having trouble uploading my pics to my blog for some reason. I'll hopefully get some up soon using another computer. Began the day at Comme il Fait, which are the Manolo Blahnik's of tango shoes. Quite the experience going there but a good one. You climb a flight of stairs, ring a door bell, they let you in,sit you down and bring boxes of shoes out to you. The first pair they brought out were the one's I bought- black classic style with red polka dots and red heel cap. I just love them. They're the most expensive shoes I've bought in a long time but I figure, hey, when will I get out here again and how long can I wear these kinds of shoes for? I'd never get that kind of experience in Melbourne. I love this city and I'm so glad I'm here.

El Martes en Buenos Aires

2009-08-11T23:09:00.005+10:00

Day four of my holiday and all is well. I think the jet lag has finally begun to lift so I´m starting to feel normal again. I´m trying to live the porteño lifestyle of late lunch and dinner and staying out late. Seems to work for them so why not? I woke up on Sunday and thought to myself ¨I should get up soon or I´ll miss desayuno (breakfast) only to find it was nearly 2pm! I´d missed lunch as well! I quickly readied myself and headed down in the direction of Plaza Dorrego for the market,street tango and musicians when I realised I´d taken a wrong turn and ended up in Retiro! Never mind, I explored that area which is mainly a shopping precinct. I liked it because the city is generally pretty quiet on the weekend and that area is the height of activity. Buenos Aires is a great city to walk around. It began to get dark so I found my way home. By then I was getting pretty hungry so I decided to go downstairs to La Plata where I had been the night before because the food is amazing and when you do the conversion back to Aussie dollars, it´s bloody cheap too. My waiter from the night before welcomes me and says he´s glad I returned. I order un copa de vino tinto and view the menu. I decide on the salmon as it comes with papas fritas and salad. Very good again although nothing tops that beef. After cenar, I return to my hostel and ask the guy at the desk where a good milonga is. He gets me excited about one in La Boca where they pick you up and on arrival receive a three course meal, 5 tangos shows, a tango orchestra and of course, lots of tango dancing. Then they drive you back at the end of the night. Excellent, I say. Call them up. He speaks rapid fire Spanish into the receiver,hangs up and tells me it doesn´t happen on Sundays! He passes me a post card with details of one that looks pretty good so I gussy up for the night and get a taxi down there. For all you non tangoers out there, I will briefly explain how a milonga works. The music is played in what is known as a tanda which is usually 4 songs - 4 tangos, 4 vals <(waltz in tango rhythm) and 3 milongas, which is a faster rhythm. Between each tanda, they use a different style of music to note that the music style is about to change. This is known as the cortina or ´the curtain´. Getting dances in Buenos Aires is a whole different ball game. In Australia, we just ask people to dance. Over here, it´s a wordless transaction. The man stands near you and uses eye and head gestures to get your attention. If you want to dance, you make eye contact and nod. If you don´t, you just look at your shoes and pretend you didn´t see him. This allows him to move on and try someone else. Sometimes the man will even use cabeceos from across the room. I walk in, find a seat at the back and then order a drink. Whilst at the bar, the tanda ends and the cortina is The Clash! I sit down and hope I get a dance. I don´t hope or wonder for very long as I get one straight away. He dances a full tanda with me and I sit down. Not long after that, I get asked again. Another tanda- I´m doing well. After my copa de vino tinto, I order a agua con gas as I´m dead thirsty by this stage. I´m not bothered by being there sola either until I spot a woman who looks just like Di only to find out it is! Major coinky dinky that we ended up in the same milonga out of many in Buenos Aires! My friends Sabrina and Ralph were with them too and it was good to see them. The milonga ends at 2am. I bid the group farewell and David helps me get a taxi home. Monday, I made myself get up early as I´m trying to set my body clock to B´s A´s time . Still exhausted but I do it. I go to breakfast and chat with Luisa who works here.She´s very sweet and her english is good. I finally try the infamous dulce de leche and I have to say, it´s pretty bloody good! I have to take a couple of jars home. I know Gayle and Cathryn are gonna love it! Just as well I´ve walked everywhere as I´ll be twice the size getting home if I eat that stuff! I got ready and headed towards Confiteria Ideal. I waited for Di and the others and after a while it was obvious they weren´t going to be there so I stayed and did a lesson. I have some work to do on my tango, that´s for sure! After a gruelling 3 hour long lesson, I went in search of food downstairs and ordered some pasta. It was home made and fresh, but in true Argentine style, the sauce was boring but it hit the spot nonetheless. By this stage, I was retarded with exhaustion so I made my way home and slept for about 3 hours. I got dressed and went downstairs for dinner again! Mariano, who´s been looking after me, raced over and apologised that he couldn´t be my waiter as he was looking after the president of Antartica and his guests! Nay bother, I get the lovely Jorge and we get through ordering the meal with no problems. I order the medallion of beef again because it's sublime and have it with a rocket and tomato salad. More vinto tinto of course but only one glass tonight. I get back to my room and study the milonga guide for Monday and find one that's a 2 minute walk from here. I get there and lo and behold! David, Dianne and the Melbournites are all there! They have tango shows and the most amazing tango orchestra plays. This milonga is very cliquey so I don't get a dance but I don't mind. Ralph and Sabrina graciously offer to walk me home and they get a taxi immediatly. Actually, in a town of 40,000 cabs, it's pretty easy to grab one. I know the title of this blog is El Martes en Buenos Aires, but I was falling asleep writing it so I saved it as a draft and I'm finishing it now and it's actually the very early hours of el jueves (thursday). I'll bring you up to speed with what's going on soon. Tomorrow we go to Comme Il Fait,the Manolo Blahnik of tango shoes and then to Cemeterio de la Recoleta where we will see the tomb of Eva Peron. Can't wait. Dormir , tal vez e sueno- that's my bad attempt at saying ' To sleep perchance to dream' but I think I've fucked it royally. Lo siento... Photos soon.

San Telmo´s Fire

2009-08-10T22:48:00.004+10:00

¡Hola para Buenos Aires! I can´t believe I´m finally here. Despite the fact that I am jetlagged to the max and feel like I´m coming down from an acid trip, I am totally loving it here. I left Melbourne for Sydney on a 7am flight Saturday morning and boarded a plane for B´s A´s at 10.30. Flight was pretty cruisy except for the usual uncomfortableness of economy seats but even they aren´t really anything to complain about. I spent the majority of the flight watching movies and documentaries and caught a bit of sleep in between. We landed in Buenos Aires, were waved through customs and through to our waiting mini bus. I tried my mobile to find that I don´t have international roaming on it so no phone for me whilst here.. I gave the tour guide the address of Ayres Porteños and away we went. Driving out from the airport didn´t seem too dissimilar to Melbourne so there wasn´t any ooohhing or ahhhing . Eventually the driver pulled over and said we were at my hostel so David helped me with my suitcase and they were gone. The guy at the front desk knew who I was immediatly which was nice. Poor guy was nursing a pretty severe hangover and was consuming mate like there was no tomorrow! He completed all my details and then helped me with my suitcase up two flights of stairs. My room, which I envisioned to be akin to a broom closet is actually large with a double bed, side tables, a table with chairs to sit at and a large wardrobe. The shared bathroom is right across the hall. The place is old and I found out at breakfast from Luisa, the breakfast lady that it was built in 1920 as a rooming house for small families. It had been vacant and run down for a while until someone bought it and decided to open it as a backpackers to take advantage of the tourist trade- good move as it´s a pretty cool place. Nothing like Casa Bolivar where the others are staying but okay if like me, you just want a crash pad. The showers leave a lot to be desired but hey, you can get one and that´s all that matters! Once I´d unpacked, showered and changed, I went out in search of coffee. A fellow blogger mentioned that if I want to get to know this city well, walk as much as possible so I´m taking her advice. I found a place a couple of blocks from here and braved my bad Spanish by asking for a cafe con leche (coffee with milk) which arrived quickly with a little biscuit and a small glass of soda water- nice touch. I´ve since discovered that this is de riguer. I ask how much and she replies ¨"ocho". I walk out thinking eight bucks for a coffee is pretty steep until I remember it´s in pesos, not dollars. I do the math and realise it´s pretty cheap. I´ve been told many times and read about piropos which is just the word here for the attention and compliments men give you as you walk down the street. I received some by a group of men on my way to find coffee and a couple on the way back. Muy buena para mi alma! I come back to my hostel and do some map reading which I find difficult as I´m exhausted from the flight. I give in to a cat nap and then get on the internet to try and remember where Dave,Di etc are staying as I completely forget where they tell me as I´m retarded with jetlag. A local who I think might work here starts speaking to me in Spanish. I tell him ´´no hablar Española- soy Australiana¨. He persists in trying to converse with me in Spanish and I get up to get a pen. He follows me to my room, peers inside the door and asks ´tu sola?¨ "Si" I reply. He laughs and asks why I have such a big bed for one person then suggests that maybe he could get in with me... ha ha- nice try, pal! More map reading and still having difficulty. I´m going cross-eyed and feel ill from lack of sleep. Then before I know it, I wake up and it´s 8pm! I get up and ring the tour guide and ask here the name of the hotel where she dropped my friends´ off and she gives me the details. I ring to speak to them but the front desk closes at 8. I decide to get ready and take a taxi down there to see if I can find them. The cabbie doesn´t speak English and I try to communicate with my broken Spanish. We get there and there´s no sign of life. I get him to bring me back here and I go to dinner at the restaurant downstairs. One of the waiters there speaks good English and he takes care of me. When Argentine´s tell you they have the best beef in the world, believe them. I ate the most divine piece of steak ever that night, not to mention some of the nicest red wine. It´s 11pm and the restaurant is jammed with locals. Dinner at 11pm but when in Buenos Aires, do as the porteños do. My waiter then says he wants to give me a free shot of Limoncello and I accept. I pay the bill- Steak, papas fritas and 3 glasses of vinto tinto come to 60 pesos. What a bargain! My waiter tells me that he hopes I come back and he´ll see me again. I shuffle upstairs to my room feeling like a well fed princess and go to bed.

Last Post Till Argentina

2009-08-06T09:17:00.004+10:00

It's here.. finally! My last day at work for just over 3 weeks. I'm getting through my work, tidying my very messy desk and setting up my 'out of office' message to let the world know I'll be in Buenos Aires. So, for my grand audience of 1 or 2, this will be my last post until I reach my destination, settle in and explore the city a bit. I've decided to take my lap top with me as hand luggage, as my hostel has wi fi throughout and I can upload my pics to co-incide with my bloggage. Still much to do, last minute run arounds tomorrow and then packing. Better make sure I'm under as bloody Qantas charge you $50 for EVERY kilo you're over. Bastards. I'm both excited and nervous at the same time. I also have a hangover. I guess it should make for an interesting day.... So until then, hasta luego and I'll see you on the other side...

Seperation Anxiety

2009-08-05T12:08:00.002+10:00

It's been nearly a week since Louie has moved in with Nikki while I go away. I am missing my big fat moo head terribly. Even though I've been able to sleep in without the usual swat in the face at dawn's crack, it's lonely without him. I keep texting Nikki to ask how he is. I am informed that he has been sweet,boofy and gets up when she does! Little bugger! He's cheeky but he's MY cheeky boy. I miss you, Lou Lou. Mama will be home soon.

The Death Of Bunny Munro

2009-08-05T10:38:00.004+10:00

My osteo asked me what I had lined up for plane flight reading and she had me stumped. I didn't really think about it, I replied and thought about what I could read to while the miles to Buenos Aires away. I remember reading a review for Nick Cave's new novel over the weekend and thinking it sounds good so I bought it on my way to work this morning. Probably got ripped off on the price but I justify it by telling myself I'm supporting Australian literature- despite the fact that Nick actually lives in Brighton, UK these days. Here's a brief description as given on the back of the book; Bunny Munro sells beauty products and the scent of adventure to the lonely housewives of England's south coast. Set adrift by his wife's death, he hits the road one last time- with his young son in tow. Haunted by jealous husbands, his own appetites and a seral killer in a Satan suit, Bunny Munro is a desperate man. And he's going to die. Darkly comic and raw with heartache, The Death of Bunny Munro is a spellbinding story told with style,anger and wit. Stay tuned for 'The Death of Bunny Munro-part 2, The MM review'.

He's Just Not That Into You- Duh...

2009-08-04T09:12:00.005+10:00

What the world needs now is not another cliched and predictable movie. I rented 'He's just not that into you' on Sunday night on the recommendation of friends who generally have credible film tastes. All I can say about it is, I've seen it and I never have to watch it again. For those who have not seen nor wish to, here's MM's synopsis of said fillum. Characters include Gigi, the stalker chick who has a date with Connor who cuts their first date early to be with Anna who wants to be with Ben, a married man who is married to Janine because she said 'marry me or else'. She believes she is lucky in love. Then there's Beth and Neil who have had the long term relationship - Neil doesn't believe in marriage and Beth breaks up with him because she does. Gigi meets Alex the bar manager at his bar whilst stalking Connor. He becomes her confidante and adviser in all things male ("if he says that, he's blowing you off"). Mary does the advertising for a magazine in which Connor is her major client. She is having a cyber relationship with Jude who 'my spaces' her- the gay boys in the office advise her that this is the 21st century 'booty call'. I think you can surmise from this description where it's all gonna go. Verse, chorus, verse.. All I can say is, thank god I watched 'Milk' first. Great film about a great man with a vision and message of hope. Let's 'hope' all films of 'He's Just Not That Into You's' calibre will go away and die the cruel death it deserves. Oh and if anyone can help me get that 90 minutes of my life back, I'd be most grateful.

The Countdown Begins

2009-08-03T09:17:00.011+10:00

I can't believe it's only 5 more days till I leave for Buenos Aires! Despite the fact that I still have much to do before I go, I am sooooo excited! A few things I'll do when I'm there..

We are DEFINATLY going here! Appointment made for 10.30am, August 13! Bring it on!

SHOES SHOES SHOES!!!! Recoleta Cemetary after shoe shopping to see Evita's tomb

Street tango ahoy

Mucho cafe at the famous Cafe Tortoni

Museo de Carlos Gardel- The Elvis of Tango

Mad Men Me!

2009-08-01T15:38:00.001+10:00

Found this on the Mad Men site. You can make an avatar of yourself, Mad Men style.I tried to Joan Holloway myself with my glasses and hair colour. How fun!

She's Moving Out Today...

2009-07-31T08:57:00.001+10:00

..and I can't be fucked with any of it.